not bad.? though, if it were my song i would make a few changes to it.? i would cut out the vocals and add a few different (maybe darker) layers to it.? then you would be fairly close to something similar to nine inch nails' instrumental work or tangerine dream.? the thing is you need to have enough layers and varying melodies to keep the interest of the listener, but without bogging down and complicating the track.? that's what i would do, but it's your song and i'm sure lots of other people will have different opinions than mine.? good luck.
Thanks. When you're writing music entirely by yourself, without the benefit of other band members, sometimes is hard to get an accurate grasp on how something actually sounds, versus what you're hearing in your head (if that makes any sense)
One of my biggest problems is not only coming up with melodies, but actually singing them, so I don't know how much more I can add to it. I'll definitely consider it and see what I might be able to do. I really don't want the song to sound that dark, but I'm considering what I could do..