your relationship with ex's?

[Sin Cut]

Everyone knows ex-gf/bf can be a real bitch sometimes and sometimes it's easier to be friends when you're not dating anymore, so how do you have things?

Most of the girls I've dated I don't give a second thought, but there are some worth mentioning

When my relationships for over 2 and a half a years ended, and the girl joined the ex's-gategory was a real bitch back then since she was sure I left her because another woman. I guess that's what happens when they sit with some friends and wonder.
"Did he leave me because I was too fat?! I'm not too fat am I?"
"Did he leave me because I never did any housework? I did take out the trash just last month, didn't I?"
"Did he leave me because I didn't want to have sex anymore?"
"Can it be becauase we fight all the time?? .. "no it can't be that, it must be another woman, that bastard, I'll show him!"

I actually believe it went somewhat along those lines.

Her bitterness and overall-bitchyness brought me tons of trouble, since she did go accusing a girl from my work for stealing her man, even if we had never had anything going,. Let just say she was being a big-mouth to everyone who would listen and I still wear the scars, too bad the fucker ran after hitting me. Anyway now we're friends, prolly since I need sometimes someone to watch my dogs, even if she's not the first person I call.


Second girl, I didn't really date her, but it's an interesting story as well. I met her the night someone attacked me because of my ex and she did company me after the bar. Because of that I went to the hospital next morning to sew my lip up:) Well, there's the first proof you don't need to have a pretty face to get the girl. "D" is the second So I did see her for a couple of weeks, maybe a month and we never came to the point where we were dating, we just catched a movie or something at my place few nights a week.

I started thinking she getting too much attached to me and I was in love with this third girl I'd fallen to bed with and she was/is my friend for many years, and while this other girl was nice she didn't compare. And we broke up as friends. Or so I thought.

After that she lied to her friends a load of things and her friend came to shout at me and told what an asshole I was and I remember being so amused that she had hard letting go. Now I just feel sorry for her and she acts like she doesn't even know me. At least if she isn't a cigaret short.

What's your stories about ex's?

[Railantics]

ex?

[Sin Cut]

ex?

ex, the boyfriend or girlfriend you broke up with.

[Railantics]

y'i'know mate

[Sin Cut]

y'i'know mate

so what was your point then?

[noonespecial]

Just explain something to me...cause I haven't been on a date in years...for guys, if your seeing someone for a month, that's not dating? What is that? A fuck buddy? ?Were you up front about that....like if you were a hotel, would she have plainly seen a vacancy sign...I'm not being smart and\or trying to put you on the defensive...it's a real inquiring minds want to know thing...cause I think this is where guys and girls are wired differently and the sooner we realize that about each other, the less energy one will waste on the quote\unquote the wrong person...

as far as ex people go...I was actually married to the guy so he is an ex husband but it was an amicable divorce. ?We both knew we were growing apart and there was no reason to be together anymore...still talk to him, and he comes and visits the cats...not a big deal...

[Sin Cut]

Just explain something to me...cause I haven't been on a date in years...for guys, if your seeing someone for a month, that's not dating? What is that? A fuck buddy? ?Were you up front about that....like if you were a hotel, would she have plainly seen a vacancy sign...I'm not being smart and\or trying to put you on the defensive...it's a real inquiring minds want to know thing...cause I think this is where guys and girls are wired differently and the sooner we realize that about each other, the less energy one will waste on the quote\unquote the wrong person...

as far as ex people go...I was actually married to the guy so he is an ex husband but it was an amicable divorce. ?We both knew we were growing apart and there was no reason to be together anymore...still talk to him, and he comes and visits the cats...not a big deal...

I did tell her that, but I felt like she was just saying yes, it's okay, and really thinking "I'll make him fall in love with me". And after I put an end to it, since it would be harder later on, my friend wanted to know why. I told him that even if she was a nice girl I dind't feel anything for her.

And I couldn't think of dating someone who slept with me after just a few hours from first seeing me.

Yes. She was a fuck buddy.

And I didn't feel like we were dating ecause how it started and that I wasn't telling her what I would do or where I was, nor was I asking her. And I didn't tell her even once that I loved her. Because I didn't.

[Sterlingdog]

I have an ex that I didn't see or talk to for almost 10 years. ?It wasn't an ugly break up, but it was hard to be around him in a different kind of relationship. ?I wasn't prepared to see him with other women or anything. ?But we tracked each other down after 10 years and now we are best friends. ?We get along great as friends, but not as a couple. ?I can watch him do stupid things now and laugh, see it as part of his charm rather than a ?way he's going to screw up my life. ?He is the only ex I still speak to though. ?Probably because we broke up before we started to hate each other.

[Jessica]

Well, i won't tell you how many men i had, but i only have 2 serious exes and probably a 3rd one in the months to come.

The 1st one was a relationship i had when i was 18, i loved him immsensely. I don't think i loved that much since and i hope to love as much if not more in the future, but i am close to 30 and i can say up until now, it was THE big thing.
Everything was wonderful BUT a few : He had been to prison and in trying to protect him or me, he was forced to lie and the lies became too huge for him and i got too inquisitive, especially because the police would call me about him and i was so hurt i think i wouldn't take no for an answer.
As he couldn't give me an answer, he started hitting me and me being me, i'd hit back. But he was 6'4 and i am 5'4 so he quickly had the physical advantage and it got ugly and uglier. I then forgot my pill because of all that and i didn't really want to have sex anyway. But it happened, you know, one of these " i love you on the pillow but will hit you tomorow" sort of thing ?
Of course, i got pregnant. We were happy. That didn't stop us from being stupid. One day, i got a kick in thr stomach and i was 3 months pregnant when the baby died inside me. That's didn't stop me from loving him. Not that, not the bruises, not his visits to the courts, nothing. One day, about 8 months later, we had a huge row while waiting for a train. He deliberately sat by some girl and shouted at me " i don't even give a fuck about you, i don't love you".
I cried, didn't say a word, got on the train without him. Picked up the phone.
The following week, as he was gone for some " deeds" again, mum and dad were there, the yhad crossed the channel from france, dad had a lorry, mum her car, we put all we could inside, they almost threw me in the car and 4 hours later, i was back in france.
He had an interdiction to leave great britain but he got a false passport and came to try and get me back ?
But i didn"t go back. I would have loved to, but mum showed me THE proof he had continued to lie.
I saw him once 10 months later, i needed the money i had lent him for our deposit, so i went to london to pick it up, but he had bought me designer clothes with it ? That was the last i ever saw of him until last year. I went to london and saw him. we passed each other on oxford street. I have now healed, but it took 10 years.

The other ex has been my best friend for 15 years but i have told him i couldn't see him anymore because his wife was a loony and i told him i prefered to call it quits on our friendship.

[Railantics]

y'i'know mate

so what was your point then?

I havent had any ex's..(only 13) 

[Sin Cut]

y'i'know mate

so what was your point then?

I havent had any ex's..(only 13)?

Hurry up then, there's nothing like  breaking up with some the first time! 

[SLCPUNK]

Some I still masturbate to...

That's about it.

[Axls Locomotive]

my ex-wife was a bitch and a manipulator...never happy, always pissed or angry with something and blamed everyone but herself for her own problems...needless to say i dont talk to her anymore

[Gunner80]

Some I still masturbate to...

That's about it.

What man doesn't? 

[Eeebs]

An ex is an  ex for a reason.  Once it is over baby, it is over for good.  I cease all contact immediately. 

[Kujo]

Some I still masturbate to...

That's about it.

Here's the last photo before she left you for D

[Kujo]

An ex is an? ex for a reason.? Once it is over baby, it is over for good.? I cease all contact immediately.?

That would be the ideal situation but when there are young kids involved thats not always possible.

[noonespecial]

Thank you Blue Cut...that's what I wanted to know...that's definite "chick wiring" with the I'll make him love me, I'll make him change--that should be a red flag for you the next time...so in a way, it was good you learned something about the kind of chick to avoid...cool

[Jessica]

I think having an ex is good in the sense that all these exes prepare us for a much bigger better love, better quality, and probably much more suited to who we are deep down.

They help us in a way, to get to know us better. Even through suffering.

If i was " that" good, i'd thank them, but i am not.

[Sin Cut]

Thank you Blue Cut...that's what I wanted to know...that's definite "chick wiring" with the I'll make him love me, I'll make him change--that should be a red flag for you the next time...so in a way, it was good you learned something about the kind of chick to avoid...cool

Yeah, but with my current gf it was "love at first sight" and the waqy she smiled at me after our first kiss and said something among the lines "that kinda game.." I was sold. We're moving together on monday or tuesday

[Axl-rocks]

my ex is a bastard

[noonespecial]

"Yeah, but with my current gf it was "love at first sight" and the waqy she smiled at me after our first kiss and said something among the lines "that kinda game.." I was sold. We're moving together on monday or tuesday"

Wow congratulations!  I'm not saying every chick is wired to think that's it's necessary to change "the dudes in their lives"
alot of if has to do with what they think of themselves...if the self esteem is low, then expectations and\what they deserve are lowered and they settle for "something" instead of being content with themselves...

But congrats dude...always good to live together first....Good Luck....

[D]

Ladies if you want respect, If you want to know if its for real, I got advice for you

Wait!

If you fuck a guy on the first date that generally isnt good.

Back when I was single If i went out with a chick and she was trying to fuck me or suck my dick on the first date, I would immediately cross her off my list of potential girlfriends.

Guys who want a serious relationship most of the time arent gonna commit to a chick who fucks their brains out on the first date.

I could never fall in love with a girl who was easy.

To each his own though, Im sure there are some who have had a great happy beautiful relationship after having sex on the first date but not me.

Im thinking if the chick is this easy for me to fuck, then who else is she fucking?

I like developing a mental,emotional,spiritual connection first and then afterwards getting down with the physical.

Physical relationships wear off eventually, if u have those other connections, u can still always be in love and make it the distance

if u have no other connection but physical, u arent gonna last.


When a relationship is over it is over.

I would never date a girl who still had a close relationship with an ex

NO FUCKIN WAY!

[Jessica]

D, i'm sorry to say this, but women are just like men and generally, don't worry about girls, if they fuck a man first date ,they don't want to marry him, don't worry 


What has it got to do with you who she fucks or fucked btw ?

Would you answer a woman that question without calling her jealous ?

Just asking.

It's weird you can't see a woman DECIDES to give herself to 1 man easily.

I think you don't have much respect for women if you can't give her more credit than that. As if we didn't have a brain and only a pussy.

I have fucked men the first night and you know what ? I didn't want to be with them next day, it was JUST sexual. I knew it the minute i decided to have sex with them.

Also, i have stayed with someone 10 years after fucking the 1st night.

And i have been dumped after making a man wait 3 months.

There are no rules and i think you are just unjust and very macho, but machism usually comes out of ignorance.

[D]

If u read the entire post I said there are instances where people had great relationships after 1st night sex.

I was talkin strictly about me and my preferences.

Just cause you wait doesnt mean a relationship will last but if u make the guy wait and he sticks around, u at least know he wants u for more than a fuck buddy.

I am not anything u said up there, Im speaking from personal experience and what I feel are facts.

If u want to fuck a guy on the first date? great for you

I personally wouldnt commit to a girl who was that way with me.

LIke i said to each his own, everyone is different.

however if u dont want to be in that "Fuck buddy" role, (which is what I was posting about) the best way to avoid that is by waiting.

If you dont fuck the dude and he doesnt call u back, u know he was all about getting some

If you dont fuck the dude and he still wants to go out with you, you know u arent being used.

I have been in situations 5 or 6 times where I wouldnt fuck a girl on the first date and she never called me back, it was my way of gauging whether or not they liked me or just wanted some dick

obviously they just wanted some dick and I have nor the time or patience for women like that.

No relationship is guaranteed but if you build love off of communication,personal connection,spirtual and mental connection, u have a much better chance of lasting than only having a physical attraction.

I think people fall in lust these days instead of love.

Why do so many people get divorced?

I know loads of people just where I live that get divorced simply cause they have nothing in common and can't stand one another, makes u wonder why they got married in the first place which in my opinon was sex.

Sex gives an illusion of love, it generates feelings of love without it really being love and people confuse lust with love.

when the lust wears off and u have no other connection, goodbye its over and done.

if the person is your best friend as well as lover, u still can grow old together and have things in common and get a long after the honeymoon stage sexual craziness is over.

[Narcissa]

I appreciate the time spent and then move on. I don't really see the point of passive people being in my life, people who are neither here nor there.

[SLCPUNK]

Some I still masturbate to...

That's about it.

Here's the last photo before she left you for D

That picture gives "amish paradise" a whole new meaning.

[D]

Dont knock the sheep till u try it Kujo, u fuck pigs so sheep would be a step up for you!

[noonespecial]

You know what Steven Tyler says is the greatest thing about masturbation--

You don't have to look your best

LOL!

 

[Sin Cut]

"Yeah, but with my current gf it was "love at first sight" and the waqy she smiled at me after our first kiss and said something among the lines "that kinda game.." I was sold. We're moving together on monday or tuesday"

Wow congratulations!  I'm not saying every chick is wired to think that's it's necessary to change "the dudes in their lives"
alot of if has to do with what they think of themselves...if the self esteem is low, then expectations and\what they deserve are lowered and they settle for "something" instead of being content with themselves...

But congrats dude...always good to live together first....Good Luck....

Thanks. I think what I need is to keep my temper with her mother, what's the point of talking someone down, I see now point. My gf told me her mother likes me, then why is she talking that crap all the time "It'll never work". I get along with her dad, but now when my gf moves to live with me I don't see any point keeping my mouth shut if her mother goes too far. And she did tell her she wouldn't see me if she wouldn't do this or that and I hated that she was using me as something to give her an edge.

[noonespecial]

"And she did tell her she wouldn't see me if she wouldn't do this or that and I hated that she was using me as something to give her an edge."

Is the "she" your gf and the "her" --your gf's mother?  I'm a little confused...let me just say this 'cause you seem like a nice guy...but understand I don't have children so for what it is worth...if her mom is talking negatively about your co-habitation...realize that that is HER BAGGAGE, not yours, not your girlfriends...from the outside looking in, it looks like she is attempting to create some sabatage...this has more to do with her fears than you personally...although you are the "projected target"-- maybe she's afraid you guys will get pregnant, maybe she had a bad personal experience in her history and doesn't want to see her child make the same mistakes.
I'm not saying shut up and take it, but when you do feel the urge to "let her have it" so to speak...just make sure you are communicating in a specific way...don't let the f words come flying from your mouth (that's just emotional verbage) and she will not hear you.
If you are specific about what is bothering you, and you can tell her in specific way (and yes you have to be mature about it) she will at least hear you....hopefully you and your gf aren't borrowing money or being supported in anyway by either of your parents, and if you are, consider that on of her fears.
Anyway, I'm not sure where you're from but it's been a decent holiday weekend over here on the East Coast of the US...so it ought to be great move in weather...bottom line: if you and your gf have discussed this and gone through the pros and cons of co-habitation, it feels right, don't waste your energy worrying about the good opinions of other people...but understand it's going to be a bit harder for your gf because that's her mother...so before you go off, think about her situtation in the "big picture" of thing...Good Luck Mr. Cut...

[Sin Cut]

"And she did tell her she wouldn't see me if she wouldn't do this or that and I hated that she was using me as something to give her an edge."

Is the "she" your gf and the "her" --your gf's mother?  I'm a little confused...let me just say this 'cause you seem like a nice guy...but understand I don't have children so for what it is worth...if her mom is talking negatively about your co-habitation...realize that that is HER BAGGAGE, not yours, not your girlfriends...from the outside looking in, it looks like she is attempting to create some sabatage...this has more to do with her fears than you personally...although you are the "projected target"-- maybe she's afraid you guys will get pregnant, maybe she had a bad personal experience in her history and doesn't want to see her child make the same mistakes.
I'm not saying shut up and take it, but when you do feel the urge to "let her have it" so to speak...just make sure you are communicating in a specific way...don't let the f words come flying from your mouth (that's just emotional verbage) and she will not hear you.
If you are specific about what is bothering you, and you can tell her in specific way (and yes you have to be mature about it) she will at least hear you....hopefully you and your gf aren't borrowing money or being supported in anyway by either of your parents, and if you are, consider that on of her fears.
Anyway, I'm not sure where you're from but it's been a decent holiday weekend over here on the East Coast of the US...so it ought to be great move in weather...bottom line: if you and your gf have discussed this and gone through the pros and cons of co-habitation, it feels right, don't waste your energy worrying about the good opinions of other people...but understand it's going to be a bit harder for your gf because that's her mother...so before you go off, think about her situtation in the "big picture" of thing...Good Luck Mr. Cut...

Yes, I was talking about her mother, and  I do hope I can keep it civilized, but I know my temper and when it goes, it goes. Her dad seems to like me, we had a great discussion about rock and GNR and he told me I should bring my guitar with me sometime, then his wife put some techno on and we both complained about that shit His wife wasn't there to hear us.

Basicly I can't bear to see my gf cry, and if her mother talks to her like she've done now when I haven't been around to hear I won't and don't even want to keep my mouth shut.

And btw I'm from Finland. And some local news; there's been reports of a wolf or wolves walking the city streets by night.

[Sin Cut]

Is the "she" your gf and the "her" --your gf's mother?  I'm a little confused

I could've wrote that clearer  .

Some background info; my gf 17 and I'm 23. Almost from day 1 I've had some grudge with her mother, mostly since her mother was blackmailing her with me -> she couldn't see me if she didn't do this or that. My stepfather had the same way dealing with things, and if that didn't work he'd demonstrate that he's the stronger one, so that kind of behaviour just pushes my buttons.

They are 7 siblings and she's the second oldest and I do feel her mother isn't so thrilled having her daughter to live with me since she loses some free labor. Just last time when I was there her mother was shouting at her since she'd tried to cook something new and it didn't turn out the way she'd planned...
I saw it like that she was being nice and trying her best. After all she didn't HAVE TO cook anything.
Her mother on the other hand was comlaining about the electricity bill since warming the oven cost so much. And wondering how she managed to fail doing something that simple.


First I thought these problem were about the fact I was some much older than her, and I had a tattoo etc. But I'm working and I treat her well and she's praised me to her parrents so I just can't figure what's wrong with her mother. Is she just such a bitch? Maybe that is her nature?

[Mr. Dick Purple]

I had a good post friend ex relationship, well I know a lot of things thanks to her, sometimes I have to talk to her so I can understand certain behaviour of women, but anyway we aren't that close. Sometimes we had a remember when we are both single if you know what I mean  , and yes Jessica I know women are just like men, I always have belief that the only difference between men and women are our genitals so.