Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Off Topic => The Jungle => Topic started by: MCT on May 21, 2005, 01:35:15 PM



Title: Topfive.com
Post by: MCT on May 21, 2005, 01:35:15 PM
http://topfive.com/

Here's a sampling:

The Top 15 Signs You Are Worshipping GodZILLA, Not God:

15 - Less smiting, more biting!

14 - Every single story in the Old Testament ends with God destroying a city.

13 - You insist that every courthouse display a copy of 10 instructions for destroying Tokyo.

12 - Your hymnal is copyrighted by Blue Oyster Cult.

11 - You're expected to build a cross big enough for crucifying Godzuki.

10 - You issue a fatwa for jihad on Mechagodzilla.

9 - The whole "Bambi is Satan" thing should have been a big tip-off.

8 - His sole commandment: Thou shalt run screaming through the streets.

7 - Every time you kneel to pray, your Lord steps on you.

6 - Golden calf? No response.
Sacrificial lamb? Not even a twitch.
Passenger train full of screaming Japanese passengers? Bingo!

5 - The sermon is lovely, but Reverend Takoshi's words are out of sync with his lips.

4 - Instead of a communion wafer, you're supposed to eat Tokyo.

3 - Recently chosen Pope Megalon XVI crushes all attempts to alter church doctrine.

2 - You just spent $20,000 on eBay for the Virgin Mothra stuffed calzone.

and the Number 1 Sign You Are Actually Worshipping GodZILLA...

1 - That thing about keeping the temple's lamps lit for eight days with no oil? Not a problem.

***

The Top 5 Things Overheard in Hitler's Bunker:

5 - "Why do those dummkopfs keep voting for Fritz? *Klaus* is the only one deserving of the title 'Aryan Idol!'"

4 - "NOBODY thought to bring bagels?!"

3 - "Eva, did we save the receipts for Poland and France? You know how tough Europe's return policy is."

2 - "The Von Trapp Singers escaped? Now *there's* a friggin' war crime."

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Hitler's Bunker...

1 - "I bet we wouldn't have all these enemies closing in on us if we had used fuzzy ducklings instead of swastikas as our national symbol. Dieter, please have everyone in Marketing killed."

***

The Top 13 Rejected Pokemon Names:

13 - Jigglybutt

12 - Herpekachu

11 - Bongbuzz

10 - Rastamon

9 - Chepejapaneztoi

8 - Fartachu

7 - Mommysbroke

6 - Pustulette

5 - Wakamole

4 - Guntotingoth

3 - Watchutawkinboutwillis

2 - Tracilords

and the Number 1 Rejected Pokemon Name...

1 - Liberachee

***

The Top 5 Quotes We Wish Were in the Lord of the Rings Movies:

5 - "Go not by that path, Aragorn! For my young companion Osment sees dead people!"

4 - "Smeagol, do you like movies about gladiators?"

3 - "You sure you ain't never been just a wee bit curious, Mr. Frodo?"

2 - "Ha! Let the dark armies of Saruman come! It would take an entire brigade of giant mutant four-tusked elephants to conquer our... well, son of a bitch!"

1 - "Run, forest, run!"


Title: Re: Topfive.com
Post by: Timothy on May 21, 2005, 01:52:35 PM
"Ha! Let the dark armies of Saruman come! It would take an entire brigade of giant mutant four-tusked elephants to conquer our... well, son of a bitch!"

 :hihi: :hihi:


that was good .


Title: Re: Topfive.com
Post by: slash4ever on May 24, 2005, 05:13:50 PM
 :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:
Yeah funny.........


Title: Re: Topfive.com
Post by: Izzy on May 25, 2005, 10:03:26 AM
Loved their '5 signs ur fav band may have lost the plot' esp its GNR reference

Guns 'n' Roses: "Welcome to McDonald's! We've got Double Cheese! You can add fries to anything you want -- may I take your order, please?"