Women and child support

[Sin Cut]

Axl4Prez2004 gave me the idea for this thread.

As far as divorced couples go I'm supporting this by all means, even more-so if the dad doesn't want to see the kids.

But for an example, a friend of mine got a few kids and he pays child support to his ex-wife.
Even tho the kids are at his place half of the time so I think it's strange he has to pay since his workload is atleast 50/50, plus he pays for the hobbies, soccer and ice hockey ain't that cheap, but atleast one of his kids is the top one players at the team.

And I know he pays the support because it's to make sure there's money for the kids.

I'm just wondering, does it work both ways? Does anyone know a case where the mother has a better paying job and pays child support to the dad who takes care of the kids half of the time? Or if the mom leaves and doesn't want to see the kids?

And what about a guy who has a one night stand and the girl lied about the pill, or the condom broke etc. After a year or two he'd get asked to make a dna test, since he might be the father. Luckily he's not. But it's not a simple thing, what if he would've been? What right has the woman to hide this from him?

Finally; what about the women who want a baby so badly they lie about being on the pill for the sole purpose to get pregnant?
It's a whole different deal than if you forgot to take it.

A couple of who I know the girl were seeing each other at the time, the relationship started to fall apart and so the girl stopped taking pills for two reasons. One she wanted to keep the guy and she wanted a baby. Obviously the relationship went on staggering for a year or two and finally fell apart last year.

Discuss.

[norway]

Depends, usually in disagreements the mom gets the custody. When dad gets it's the mom who pays support.

Not sure what the second question means.

If fathering someone there's obviously a need for both parents to ensure the best for the new life.
Some agreements and comprimises must be made.

Simply don't do vaginal unless you're prepared to face the consequences

[Sin Cut]

Depends, usually in disagreements the mom gets the custody. When dad gets it's the mom who pays support.

Not sure what the second question means.

If fathering someone there's obviously a need for both parents to ensure the best for the new life.
Some agreements and comprimises must be made.

Simply don't do vaginal unless you're prepared to face the consequences

not every girl gives anal

[JMack]

Nor do guys for the most part...

[Sin Cut]

Nor do guys for the most part...

would you want them to?

[western_chaos]

Nor do guys for the most part...

would you want them to?

 

Yes please.

[Howard2k]

I have my daughter 50% of the time but pay the ex child support.   To be fair, if she earned more than me it would be the other way around.  It's nothing to do with "mother or father" it's to do with the child support that she'd pay me if I had the child 100% of the time, offset against the child support that I'd pay her if she had the child 100% of the time.   So if she earned more than I did, she'd pay me.

It's pretty standard in Ontario.

[Axl4Prez2004]

Axl4Prez2004 gave me the idea for this thread.

And what about a guy who has a one night stand and the girl lied about the pill, or the condom broke etc. After a year or two he'd get asked to make a dna test, since he might be the father. Luckily he's not. But it's not a simple thing, what if he would've been? What right has the woman to hide this from him?
Finally; what about the women who want a baby so badly they lie about being on the pill for the sole purpose to get pregnant?
It's a whole different deal than if you forgot to take it.

A couple of who I know the girl were seeing each other at the time, the relationship started to fall apart and so the girl stopped taking pills for two reasons. One she wanted to keep the guy and she wanted a baby. Obviously the relationship went on staggering for a year or two and finally fell apart last year.

Discuss.

I used the "glow" feature up there because somebody I know personally had that happen.  One night stand...he didn't protect himself...whammo.  He didn't know he was a father until his daughter was 4 years old.  True story.  Yes, several guys had to go through DNA testing, and yup, he's the dad.  Anyhow, he has his issues with how his daughter's being raised, it's quite sad.  While I sympathize with the little girl who's now 8 I think (lives out of state with the mother) what can my friend expect? 

If you are going to engage in sex without protection, and you don't want kids at that time, you're an idiot.  Plain and simple. 
I don't give a shit if the other person says they are using contraception, fuck that. 
Play it safe.  (man+condom) + (female on pill or using diaphragm) = no babies.

While Sincut (and most of you) will disagree, the best way to go is to wait until marriage to have intercourse.  Just sayin'.
    

[D]

My best friend got custody of his kids but since he is way better off than his ex wife, he doesn't make her pay child support.

I had the kid not turn out to be mine thing happen and I was eligible to be reimbursed certain monies but I said fuck it. when u are that upset and are done that wrong, u don't want anything from the bitch.

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

I don't trust women, period.

I keep the cover on the car when I take it out of the garage.

[Axl4Prez2004]

My best friend got custody of his kids but since he is way better off than his ex wife, he doesn't make her pay child support.

I had the kid not turn out to be mine thing happen and I was eligible to be reimbursed certain monies but I said fuck it. when u are that upset and are done that wrong, u don't want anything from the bitch.

That's your call D...but it reminds me of my mom who didn't push for what she deserved...out of pride as well. 
In a similar situation, I'd take everything legally mandated...and then do some good with the extra money.  (that is, of course, unless I developed a bond with the child already), then I'd see to it he or she had a college fund set up for them when they turned 18.

[D]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

[Axl4Prez2004]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

[Albert S Miller]

When I got married in 1990 my husband had a 35,000 back child support bill in regards to his 5 year old daughter, who was conceived unplanned.  My husband made financial commitments in regards to supporting  his child the entire time, as well as partaking in her upbringing.  The mother unemployed.  It was when the relationship soured that she decided to go to the state for financial help (who'd of guessed!).  With blood test now proving he was legally dad, that is when the state slammed him with his great debt.  If I may add the mom continued to have 2 other children with 2 seperate men and now she has 3 children and is living off of the system.  One of the 3 children (the third) well her father took her life.  The mom then gave birth a year or so later to child number 4 at 40 years old.

We had our first child in 1990 and our second in 1991, it was not long after the state began taking 850 a month for current support, back support and insurance we were to provide.  This did not allow us much for the feeding of our own 2 kiddies.  When we approached the state to have the support order possibly modified, they told us that we knew we had the other child first and that we should have taken that into consideration before we began building our own family. (In other words the other kid is first).  I was really upset, I wasn't responsible for that and neither were my own children.

Regardless it is now over, but is was such a long haul, to have paid such a huge debt, we remained strong, worked harder and harder to pay it off and finally our debt was fullfilled in July of 2003.

I think that my husband got so screwed, as they allowed mom to remain in custody of the child, my husband and I paid for her upbringing, yet had no say so in her life.  She is now of age and then some, we definately see the possibilities of her lifestyle being the same as the one she has been shown. She is now 23 and still very much relies on our pocketbook to make her way in the world, it is  really quite sad, so if there is anything I can say guys, do be careful really!!!

I musn't forget to mention the fact that regardless of the situation, we love and support her very much and have a great relationship with her over the last 5 years, and we are greatful to have such a wonderful daughter in our lives, I just want to clarify that her mother on the other hand still sucks

[Axl4Prez2004]

msaxl, yes that's gut-wrenching.  Thanks for sharing. 

The guy I know who found out he was a dad when his daughter was 4 years old also inseminated a woman who had one other child at the time...this woman now has 5 kids through 3 different guys...but...this is what happens when people don't think.

you said it best, "be careful, really!"

[western_chaos]

My oldest sister has six kids with 4 different men. Imagine that.

Now, she clearly wasn't thinking.

[D]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

Of course I thought it was mine, throughout entire pregnancy, first 9  months of life, I still think about it at least once a day.

[Axl4Prez2004]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

Of course I thought it was mine, throughout entire pregnancy, first 9  months of life, I still think about it at least once a day.

Holy fucking shit!  Oh man!  I can't imagine.  That is horribly fucking tragic.  D, I'm sorry.  How did you keep yourself from either a:  going insane, or b: going insane and wanting to inflict bodily harm on this bitch?

[Bodhi]

I think the whole idea of child support is horseshit...if you want to get custody of the the kid, you shouldnt get a hand out from your ex husband on top of that..

[SLCPUNK]

Yea, but they are your children, why would you not want to support them? Even if the other parent has custody?