Women and child support

[Sin Cut]

Axl4Prez2004 gave me the idea for this thread.

As far as divorced couples go I'm supporting this by all means, even more-so if the dad doesn't want to see the kids.

But for an example, a friend of mine got a few kids and he pays child support to his ex-wife.
Even tho the kids are at his place half of the time so I think it's strange he has to pay since his workload is atleast 50/50, plus he pays for the hobbies, soccer and ice hockey ain't that cheap, but atleast one of his kids is the top one players at the team.

And I know he pays the support because it's to make sure there's money for the kids.

I'm just wondering, does it work both ways? Does anyone know a case where the mother has a better paying job and pays child support to the dad who takes care of the kids half of the time? Or if the mom leaves and doesn't want to see the kids?

And what about a guy who has a one night stand and the girl lied about the pill, or the condom broke etc. After a year or two he'd get asked to make a dna test, since he might be the father. Luckily he's not. But it's not a simple thing, what if he would've been? What right has the woman to hide this from him?

Finally; what about the women who want a baby so badly they lie about being on the pill for the sole purpose to get pregnant?
It's a whole different deal than if you forgot to take it.

A couple of who I know the girl were seeing each other at the time, the relationship started to fall apart and so the girl stopped taking pills for two reasons. One she wanted to keep the guy and she wanted a baby. Obviously the relationship went on staggering for a year or two and finally fell apart last year.

Discuss.

[norway]

Depends, usually in disagreements the mom gets the custody. When dad gets it's the mom who pays support.

Not sure what the second question means.

If fathering someone there's obviously a need for both parents to ensure the best for the new life.
Some agreements and comprimises must be made.

Simply don't do vaginal unless you're prepared to face the consequences

[Sin Cut]

Depends, usually in disagreements the mom gets the custody. When dad gets it's the mom who pays support.

Not sure what the second question means.

If fathering someone there's obviously a need for both parents to ensure the best for the new life.
Some agreements and comprimises must be made.

Simply don't do vaginal unless you're prepared to face the consequences

not every girl gives anal

[JMack]

Nor do guys for the most part...

[Sin Cut]

Nor do guys for the most part...

would you want them to?

[western_chaos]

Nor do guys for the most part...

would you want them to?

 

Yes please.

[Howard2k]

I have my daughter 50% of the time but pay the ex child support.   To be fair, if she earned more than me it would be the other way around.  It's nothing to do with "mother or father" it's to do with the child support that she'd pay me if I had the child 100% of the time, offset against the child support that I'd pay her if she had the child 100% of the time.   So if she earned more than I did, she'd pay me.

It's pretty standard in Ontario.

[Axl4Prez2004]

Axl4Prez2004 gave me the idea for this thread.

And what about a guy who has a one night stand and the girl lied about the pill, or the condom broke etc. After a year or two he'd get asked to make a dna test, since he might be the father. Luckily he's not. But it's not a simple thing, what if he would've been? What right has the woman to hide this from him?
Finally; what about the women who want a baby so badly they lie about being on the pill for the sole purpose to get pregnant?
It's a whole different deal than if you forgot to take it.

A couple of who I know the girl were seeing each other at the time, the relationship started to fall apart and so the girl stopped taking pills for two reasons. One she wanted to keep the guy and she wanted a baby. Obviously the relationship went on staggering for a year or two and finally fell apart last year.

Discuss.

I used the "glow" feature up there because somebody I know personally had that happen.  One night stand...he didn't protect himself...whammo.  He didn't know he was a father until his daughter was 4 years old.  True story.  Yes, several guys had to go through DNA testing, and yup, he's the dad.  Anyhow, he has his issues with how his daughter's being raised, it's quite sad.  While I sympathize with the little girl who's now 8 I think (lives out of state with the mother) what can my friend expect? 

If you are going to engage in sex without protection, and you don't want kids at that time, you're an idiot.  Plain and simple. 
I don't give a shit if the other person says they are using contraception, fuck that. 
Play it safe.  (man+condom) + (female on pill or using diaphragm) = no babies.

While Sincut (and most of you) will disagree, the best way to go is to wait until marriage to have intercourse.  Just sayin'.
    

[D]

My best friend got custody of his kids but since he is way better off than his ex wife, he doesn't make her pay child support.

I had the kid not turn out to be mine thing happen and I was eligible to be reimbursed certain monies but I said fuck it. when u are that upset and are done that wrong, u don't want anything from the bitch.

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

I don't trust women, period.

I keep the cover on the car when I take it out of the garage.

[Axl4Prez2004]

My best friend got custody of his kids but since he is way better off than his ex wife, he doesn't make her pay child support.

I had the kid not turn out to be mine thing happen and I was eligible to be reimbursed certain monies but I said fuck it. when u are that upset and are done that wrong, u don't want anything from the bitch.

That's your call D...but it reminds me of my mom who didn't push for what she deserved...out of pride as well. 
In a similar situation, I'd take everything legally mandated...and then do some good with the extra money.  (that is, of course, unless I developed a bond with the child already), then I'd see to it he or she had a college fund set up for them when they turned 18.

[D]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

[Axl4Prez2004]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

[Albert S Miller]

When I got married in 1990 my husband had a 35,000 back child support bill in regards to his 5 year old daughter, who was conceived unplanned.  My husband made financial commitments in regards to supporting  his child the entire time, as well as partaking in her upbringing.  The mother unemployed.  It was when the relationship soured that she decided to go to the state for financial help (who'd of guessed!).  With blood test now proving he was legally dad, that is when the state slammed him with his great debt.  If I may add the mom continued to have 2 other children with 2 seperate men and now she has 3 children and is living off of the system.  One of the 3 children (the third) well her father took her life.  The mom then gave birth a year or so later to child number 4 at 40 years old.

We had our first child in 1990 and our second in 1991, it was not long after the state began taking 850 a month for current support, back support and insurance we were to provide.  This did not allow us much for the feeding of our own 2 kiddies.  When we approached the state to have the support order possibly modified, they told us that we knew we had the other child first and that we should have taken that into consideration before we began building our own family. (In other words the other kid is first).  I was really upset, I wasn't responsible for that and neither were my own children.

Regardless it is now over, but is was such a long haul, to have paid such a huge debt, we remained strong, worked harder and harder to pay it off and finally our debt was fullfilled in July of 2003.

I think that my husband got so screwed, as they allowed mom to remain in custody of the child, my husband and I paid for her upbringing, yet had no say so in her life.  She is now of age and then some, we definately see the possibilities of her lifestyle being the same as the one she has been shown. She is now 23 and still very much relies on our pocketbook to make her way in the world, it is  really quite sad, so if there is anything I can say guys, do be careful really!!!

I musn't forget to mention the fact that regardless of the situation, we love and support her very much and have a great relationship with her over the last 5 years, and we are greatful to have such a wonderful daughter in our lives, I just want to clarify that her mother on the other hand still sucks

[Axl4Prez2004]

msaxl, yes that's gut-wrenching.  Thanks for sharing. 

The guy I know who found out he was a dad when his daughter was 4 years old also inseminated a woman who had one other child at the time...this woman now has 5 kids through 3 different guys...but...this is what happens when people don't think.

you said it best, "be careful, really!"

[western_chaos]

My oldest sister has six kids with 4 different men. Imagine that.

Now, she clearly wasn't thinking.

[D]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

Of course I thought it was mine, throughout entire pregnancy, first 9  months of life, I still think about it at least once a day.

[Axl4Prez2004]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

Of course I thought it was mine, throughout entire pregnancy, first 9  months of life, I still think about it at least once a day.

Holy fucking shit!  Oh man!  I can't imagine.  That is horribly fucking tragic.  D, I'm sorry.  How did you keep yourself from either a:  going insane, or b: going insane and wanting to inflict bodily harm on this bitch?

[Bodhi]

I think the whole idea of child support is horseshit...if you want to get custody of the the kid, you shouldnt get a hand out from your ex husband on top of that..

[SLCPUNK]

Yea, but they are your children, why would you not want to support them? Even if the other parent has custody?

[D]

yeah, they were kind of poor and I didn't mind spending all I spent on him and I certainly didn't want to take any money from her that would best be used on the kid.

Receiving money sure wasn't gonna mend my heart.

my dad never understood why I let her off the hook, but I always told him, u can't put a price tag on piece of mind. It is best to have it over and done and let yourself be able to start healing than to constantly be associated by receiving monthly checks.

That's some intense stuff D.  May I ask, at any time did you think it could have been your child?  I mean, seeing as how you only have a vagina and all?  j/k    Seriously, was there ever a time you thought it was yours?  If so, what brought about the testing?  That kind of suspicion would probably make me personally much more able to associate with the song IRS.

Of course I thought it was mine, throughout entire pregnancy, first 9  months of life, I still think about it at least once a day.

Holy fucking shit!  Oh man!  I can't imagine.  That is horribly fucking tragic.  D, I'm sorry.  How did you keep yourself from either a:  going insane, or b: going insane and wanting to inflict bodily harm on this bitch?

GNR, message forums, talking to a lot of great people who helped me get through it.*people from local forums,Journey,SLC* lots of eating   Then later on of course running.
Its why Madagascar is still my favorite GNR song off Chinese Democracy. Right after is when I saw RIR III and that and The Blues helped tremendously. I really identified with Axl a lot during that time period. I would've killed to have "This I Love" during that period in my life!!


If you have a child, u MUST pay child support even if u don't have custody. What I don't like, and I've seen it a million times, is when the mother uses the child support for shit that has nothing to do with the child.

When i turned 16  my mom pretty much gave the money to me to manage etc.  I had to portion it out all month for gas, cd's, movies etc etc. it was about 150 a month and taught me a lot of responsibility.

[Bodhi]

Yea, but they are your children, why would you not want to support them? Even if the other parent has custody?

it should be optional.. If someone wants to help out and support their kid they can, but they shouldn't HAVE to..If it were optional you would still have the majority of the guys out there paying child support, either out of guilt or because they really care, and you would probably have far less ex-husbands hiring hitmen to kill their ex-wives...its a win win for everybody...

[Axl4Prez2004]

^Great stuff D.  Wow, unbelievable.  

Bodhi: "I think the whole idea of child support is horseshit...if you want to get custody of the the kid, you shouldnt get a hand out from your ex husband on top of that.."  You really think so?  That's one unique outlook...please tell us why.  I'd love to hear this explanation.

Ha!  I saw your reply...no offense, but you are waaaay off base on this one.  Take it from somebody who a:  has been through this as a kid, and b:  somebody whose mom worked in family court.  You are sooooooo wrong.  The majority of fathers would not pay the recommended amount.  Not even close, sorry.  The mother could be poor as shit scraping money together for food, and the minute she goes to a store to buy $30 jeans instead of $10 specials, the father will find out and want to send $20 less.  Every fucking time!  Trust me, divorce aint pretty and the overwhelming majority are bitter.  The kid is always the loser.

[Bodhi]

^Great stuff D.  Wow, unbelievable.  

Bodhi: "I think the whole idea of child support is horseshit...if you want to get custody of the the kid, you shouldnt get a hand out from your ex husband on top of that.."  You really think so?  That's one unique outlook...please tell us why.  I'd love to hear this explanation.

Ha!  I saw your reply...no offense, but you are waaaay off base on this one.  Take it from somebody who a:  has been through this as a kid, and b:  somebody whose mom worked in family court.  You are sooooooo wrong.  The majority of fathers would not pay the recommended amount.  Not even close, sorry.  The mother could be poor as shit scraping money together for food, and the minute she goes to a store to buy $30 jeans instead of $10 specials, the father will find out and want to send $20 less.  Every fucking time!  Trust me, divorce aint pretty and the overwhelming majority are bitter.  The kid is always the loser.

Fair enough, I guess there are alot of deadbeats out there.  which brings us back to why would the mom get custody if she cant support a kid?  Custody should go to the parent who can soley take care of the kid...right? 

[Bandita]

Wow, this was a bit of a difficult thread to read simply because I am about to go through all of this myself.

I am 34 years old and was told due to some previous health issues that I would have a very hard time even conceiving.

Well, I did.  I am now 2 months in and the father told me he would be there helping every step of the way.

Guess what?  Real shocker coming here-he hasn't been.  My insurance is awful and I am about to get hit with tons of medical bills.  There isn't anything legally I can do about any of it until the baby is born and I go to the courts to request support, insurance and paternity though.

It's a tough situation, I understand.  I also understand there are many fathers out there that the process probably isn't fair to.  This is just my personal situation right now.

[Axl4Prez2004]

^Great stuff D.  Wow, unbelievable.  

Bodhi: "I think the whole idea of child support is horseshit...if you want to get custody of the the kid, you shouldnt get a hand out from your ex husband on top of that.."  You really think so?  That's one unique outlook...please tell us why.  I'd love to hear this explanation.

Ha!  I saw your reply...no offense, but you are waaaay off base on this one.  Take it from somebody who a:  has been through this as a kid, and b:  somebody whose mom worked in family court.  You are sooooooo wrong.  The majority of fathers would not pay the recommended amount.  Not even close, sorry.  The mother could be poor as shit scraping money together for food, and the minute she goes to a store to buy $30 jeans instead of $10 specials, the father will find out and want to send $20 less.  Every fucking time!  Trust me, divorce aint pretty and the overwhelming majority are bitter.  The kid is always the loser.

Fair enough, I guess there are alot of deadbeats out there.  which brings us back to why would the mom get custody if she cant support a kid?  Custody should go to the parent who can soley take care of the kid...right? 

Bodhi, seriously dude...it isn't all about money!  News flash, more money doesn't mean better parent.  I know I'm living proof of that. 
Often, the mothers have a kid, two, or three...which between gestation time and post-pregnancy recovery/bonding time takes up a lot of time and prevents them from either maintaining or progressing in their career (if they even have one aside from being a full-time parent)...so you end up with a divorce situation where the guy has the dough.  I think if you look at this long enough it may change your mind.   

[Bodhi]

Bodhi, seriously dude...it isn't all about money!  News flash, more money doesn't mean better parent.  I know I'm living proof of that. 
Often, the mothers have a kid, two, or three...which between gestation time and post-pregnancy recovery/bonding time takes up a lot of time and prevents them from either maintaining or progressing in their career (if they even have one aside from being a full-time parent)...so you end up with a divorce situation where the guy has the dough.  I think if you look at this long enough it may change your mind.   

I guess, whatever dude...I just have a problem with alimony and child support in general..it always seems like the guy is getting fucked over, meanwhile the sole decision to even have a kid belongs to the female...just another example of women having us by the balls...This is such a broad topic it is impossible to have an opinion on it that just covers all possibilities..it really depends on the individual situation...What if the woman is just a lazy fuck who doesnt feel like working?  Should she be entitled to taking her ex-husbands money?

[SLCPUNK]

Yea, but they are your children, why would you not want to support them? Even if the other parent has custody?

it should be optional.. If someone wants to help out and support their kid they can, but they shouldn't HAVE to..If it were optional you would still have the majority of the guys out there paying child support, either out of guilt or because they really care, and you would probably have far less ex-husbands hiring hitmen to kill their ex-wives...its a win win for everybody...

Ridiculous.

If you have a kid, you should support your kid. If you don't want to, you're an asshole.

The end.

[D]

Child support is a must. Alimony however is another issue. I think it is sort of ridiculous when a guy will have to pay his wife thousands of dollars a month until she gets remarried.

Maybe a time time limit on there or something.

[Bodhi]

[

If you have a kid, you should support your kid. If you don't want to, you're an asshole.

The end.

yes you SHOULD...But there are no rules in this country against being an asshole... well except this one it seems

[Bodhi]

Child support is a must. Alimony however is another issue. I think it is sort of ridiculous when a guy will have to pay his wife thousands of dollars a month until she gets remarried.

yes, Alimony is the REAL issue here that makes my blood boil, but I seem to be taking it out on child support....im willing to agree with you guys for the part on child support, but there is no fucking excuse for alimony....bullshit...

[lynn1961]

Child support is a must. Alimony however is another issue. I think it is sort of ridiculous when a guy will have to pay his wife thousands of dollars a month until she gets remarried.

yes, Alimony is the REAL issue here that makes my blood boil, but I seem to be taking it out on child support....im willing to agree with you guys for the part on child support, but there is no fucking excuse for alimony....bullshit...

Good thing you started changing your tune about the whole child support issue.  I mean, if a guy equally participates in conceiving the child then he is equally responsible for supporting and raising the child.  Bottom line. 

Alimony, anymore, these days especially....yeah, I agree about it being bullshit.  A woman should be able to stand on her own to support herself and not rely on ex-hubby's financial means.   

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

Wow, this was a bit of a difficult thread to read simply because I am about to go through all of this myself.

I am 34 years old and was told due to some previous health issues that I would have a very hard time even conceiving.

Well, I did.  I am now 2 months in and the father told me he would be there helping every step of the way.

Guess what?  Real shocker coming here-he hasn't been.  My insurance is awful and I am about to get hit with tons of medical bills.  There isn't anything legally I can do about any of it until the baby is born and I go to the courts to request support, insurance and paternity though.

It's a tough situation, I understand.  I also understand there are many fathers out there that the process probably isn't fair to.  This is just my personal situation right now.

I just wanna say congratulations!  I know it's going to be hard for you, but I want to wish you well.  That little fella/lady will bring you lots of joy and comfort. 

I really hope yo baby daddy comes through and helps you out.

[Bodhi]

does anyone know if you are still allowed to sign your rights away?  So you never have to pay a cent?  One of my ex-girlfriends fathers signed his rights away when she was 2 and her sister was 4 and now she is 26 and has never heard from him,  She knows where he lives through friends and family and he actually had 2 other kids with a woman he is married to now I think, but he never had to pay child support for her...is that still legal?

[lynn1961]

I'm sure you still can, but the mother of the children would have to agree to it.   

[AxlsMainMan]

Yea, but they are your children, why would you not want to support them? Even if the other parent has custody?

Exactly.

My mother's logic is since I don't want anything to do with her, she shouldn't have to pay.

Sorry, but that's not how the law works.

[Bandita]

Wow, this was a bit of a difficult thread to read simply because I am about to go through all of this myself.

I am 34 years old and was told due to some previous health issues that I would have a very hard time even conceiving.

Well, I did.  I am now 2 months in and the father told me he would be there helping every step of the way.

Guess what?  Real shocker coming here-he hasn't been.  My insurance is awful and I am about to get hit with tons of medical bills.  There isn't anything legally I can do about any of it until the baby is born and I go to the courts to request support, insurance and paternity though.

It's a tough situation, I understand.  I also understand there are many fathers out there that the process probably isn't fair to.  This is just my personal situation right now.

I just wanna say congratulations!  I know it's going to be hard for you, but I want to wish you well.  That little fella/lady will bring you lots of joy and comfort. 

I really hope yo baby daddy comes through and helps you out.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!

[Axl4Prez2004]

Child support is a must. Alimony however is another issue. I think it is sort of ridiculous when a guy will have to pay his wife thousands of dollars a month until she gets remarried.

yes, Alimony is the REAL issue here that makes my blood boil, but I seem to be taking it out on child support....im willing to agree with you guys for the part on child support, but there is no fucking excuse for alimony....bullshit...

I'll almost agree with you Bodhi on alimony...take for instance Paul McCartney.  There is no reason a 60+ year old guy who has amassed hundreds of millions of dollars over his life (before he even met the Heather Mills chick), there's no reason why she should have gotten that chunk of money from him.  Yes, it was stupid of Paul not to have a pre-nup being that wealthy...but, in my eyes, she should be entitled to half of the $$$ he brought in since they were married!

Seriously, how can she be given money he earned before she was even born???


Now, all that said, alimony is deserved, in my eyes, when a woman or man gives up career pursuits to stay at home and rear kids (it's usually the woman) or the woman who works and pays her husband's way through med school, only to have him cheat on her and divorce her, and leave her high and dry. 

It really isn't all black and white...and unfortunately, the women are usually the ones who get the short end of the financial stick. (remember, here in the United States, women still get paid about 80 cents for every dollar men earn...for the same job!  Yes, that's a fact, and is gender discrimination.

[journey]

Child support is a must. Alimony however is another issue. I think it is sort of ridiculous when a guy will have to pay his wife thousands of dollars a month until she gets remarried.

yes, Alimony is the REAL issue here that makes my blood boil, but I seem to be taking it out on child support....im willing to agree with you guys for the part on child support, but there is no fucking excuse for alimony....bullshit...

I'll almost agree with you Bodhi on alimony...take for instance Paul McCartney.  There is no reason a 60+ year old guy who has amassed hundreds of millions of dollars over his life (before he even met the Heather Mills chick), there's no reason why she should have gotten that chunk of money from him.  Yes, it was stupid of Paul not to have a pre-nup being that wealthy...but, in my eyes, she should be entitled to half of the $$$ he brought in since they were married!

Seriously, how can she be given money he earned before she was even born???

I think Madonna had to pay Guy Ritchie like 50 million dollars. And J-Lo has given her ex-husbands a lot of bread too.

Gene Simmons seems to have the right idea.

I wonder if marriage will ever become an outdated custom.

[Axl4Prez2004]

Yes Journey, and I don't know if they had pre-nups or not...probably not.  I think it's silly they had to give their exes such large sums of money they earned well-before they got married. 

Why in the hell do the rich and famous get married without pre-nups???   Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Marriage rates do seem to be trending down.  What can I say though, I looove being married.   

[D]

I think Alimony should be like Welfare. I do agree that women who sacrifice their career to raise the kids should be entitled to something BUT not until they get remarried. Maybe 5 years or long enough for them to go back to college and finish a degree or whatever, but they shouldn't be able to sit on their ass and collect thousands of dollars a month.

[Lisa]

So many things said in this thread piss me off in all kinds of ways...only because I am one whom has known the struggle of trying to raise two kids alone when my exhusband decided he no longer wanted to be married or tied down..this when the kids were 3 and 1
Needless to say, when I got married, I married him because I loved him, not because he had his own growing business and he and his family came from wealth. Even though it hurt, I signed a prenup stating I wouldn't touch the business..etc..a bunch of other crap and you know what? I got nothing.Not that I wanted anything to begin with. All I asked for is fair child support to help raise the two boys we had, and half of any monies we grew together threw RRSP and such.He decided that it was unacceptable!He was the one who wanted out! I had to fight him him court for JUST that..what I ended up with I am gratefull for because we would not have been able to exsist without it. The boys are 17 and 14 now and even though the things they want and things they want to do cost more..at least $150 buck a week in groceries not mention clothing them...everything has escalated but the same amount of money has stayed the same..I have never asked for more even though I should have.
So because I chose the right path I and my sons have suffered aot of hardship. At one point when they were growing up, I was working 3 jobs! and even now, at this stage of the game I work 2 jobs. I have nothing. I own nothing. I also owe nothing. I have an apartment, a 2004 civic that I paid off myself and a bit in the emergency savings account but not much else. I work alot to make ends meet and never once has he offered to lighten my financial load. The difference is..he remarried.Owns a multi million dollar company. Owns a huge home about 5 blocks from me backing onto the golf course that he and his wife are members of when they aren't taking one of their many get away vacations because life is so stressful , two brand new vehicles and a 66 Camero he built a special garage for. A 6 bedroom chalet up north by the ski club they belong to.Life is rough when they have to confer regularly with a Wealth Advisor/agent.They have never know hunger or the fear of having your electricty cut off or the phone disconnected till you can pay it. They have never had to do without the most basic of items so that the kids could eat another day.
Now are you going to sit back and say I didn't deserve child support? Should he have not had a moral obligation to contribute more to their wellbeing and upkeep? I never asked for the divorce. I never shirked my responsibilities to my children. As far as I am concerned women should demand more! fucking soak the bitch. I can say I would do the same if I could turn back time. I would have nailed his balls to the wall. I would have gotten a fancy high priced lawyer like his instead of court appointed legal aid..someone who cared about fighting the good fight instead of how much he was going to put in his wallet.
I am sure there are awful and unfair stories all around, that is just mine. Infact it angers me that someone without a care in the world or children I may add, starts a pointless thread to discuss something he has nothing to do with other then start controversy. Why start such a heated debate? what have you to get from it? knowledge? I somehow doubt that. EVERYONE knows divorce and the subsequent child support issue or alimony is a huge unsettled arguement..and that there is extenuating circumstances on both sides of the coin.Bottom line, you have kids with someone..you (man or woman) are responsible for helping to pay for the wellbeing of said child(ren)

[journey]

You're right Lisa. There's no reason a man or woman shouldn't provide adequate child support. I think a person's overall income should determine the child support payments, etc...

Yes Journey, and I don't know if they had pre-nups or not...probably not.  I think it's silly they had to give their exes such large sums of money they earned well-before they got married. 

Why in the hell do the rich and famous get married without pre-nups???   Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Marriage rates do seem to be trending down.  What can I say though, I looove being married.  

I guess some skip the pre-nups because they don't want their marriage to seem like a business deal. I think a lot of people, even the jaded ones, still want the fairytale in the end.

[norway]

I think anyone, man or woman, should protect themself/prevent if not wanting children but gonna have sex.

If you are gonna have children I just hope both have made long-term plans to secure the future of the child(s)-
-for diferent scenarios and outcomes, you can't trust no one but yourself.

While it seems very romantic and beautifull there is a big responsebillety, the economical and social aspects for example.

Also checking yourself and your blodline for diseases and conditions that can be inherited should be done.