Question about cosmetic surgery ( for me)

[Jessica]

Last sunday, my cousin ( who is half italian, calabrese) told me that my cousins on the italian side count by many.

One of them is a top cosmetic surgeon in Europe and for family, does prices.

Now, i have a problem with my mouth ( due to being repetedly hit by a man years ago) and i have been thinking of having my lower jaw operated and entirely rebuilt ( it looks funny when i speak and i cannot sing as good as i used to, it's all technical, but believe me).

Thing is, i know it's maxillo facial surgery, and it's verrrry heavy and i won't have a feel for at least a year in and around it.

Plus the pain.

But what about scars ?

Do scars go away ?

And how can it go wrong ?

Does anyone know what can happen ?

[Chelle]

I don't really know anything from personal experience, but I think that the recovery after surgery is supposed to be the hardest part.? I think alot of people have depression following surgery because they have the surgery to improve their looks, but usually look pretty fucked up immediately afterward... plus the pain? ?

If you can make it throught all that though, and you have a good surgeon, you may be thrilled with the results!?

Good luck!? ?

[Jessica]

Oh, but i don't want a facial lift ( i am waaay too young to even consider it).

I want my jaw back as it was before it was pushed and moved by fists.

[Chelle]

Oh, but i don't want a facial lift ( i am waaay too young to even consider it).

I want my jaw back as it was before it was pushed and moved by fists.

Wouldn't you still have alot of bruising and bandaging after surgery though?

I'm sorry that that happened to you.   

[Jessica]

Oh, but i don't want a facial lift ( i am waaay too young to even consider it).

I want my jaw back as it was before it was pushed and moved by fists.

Wouldn't you still have alot of bruising and bandaging after surgery though?

I'm sorry that that happened to you.   

I'd probably have a lot of the two, yes.

No one can SEE i have a problem, most think i am barely pulling faces when i speak and most don't even see this, but i do, because it's not "me", how i was.

I know i have a problem, my jaw aches half the time, my teeth were straight as ladder ( bottom teeth) and i have 3 teeth that have moved due to this and that hurts too. I cannot open my mouth as wide as i used to and that alone, for singing, is a bugger because i have special exercises that i need to do just for that, and this, before i even warm up for the rest.

And since its moved, my profile is not the same and i hate it.

[greekmule]

As a doctor i can tell you that in cosmetic surgery surgeons use special stiching techniques which minimize the development of scar tissue.


i wouldn't worry about the scars
 

[Where is Hassan Nasrallah ?]

man, jessica, reading your post always make me sad
i'm sorry about all that happen to you
i mean, you have a baby and all, it's all fine now, you don't need surgery

[Jessica]

man, jessica, reading your post always make me sad
i'm sorry about all that happen to you
i mean, you have a baby and all, it's all fine now, you don't need surgery

Don't feel sorry for me.

Happened what happened.

My life started badly, true.
I was used to getting treated like utter shit and always went for the same treatment up until i realised i was conditionned and tried, step by step, to change.

Sill in the making.

I am better than last year and next better than now.

I am a whole diff person than i was 10/15 years ago. Not as self destructive. there IS an improvement.

BUt, i want to get rid of some " traces" of the past. I know they are part of what i am, but i don't want them there anymore.

It's like, imagine you have been in an accident ? And you know you can get rid of the scars ? You do it, don't you ? However long that takes ?

It's the same.

It's a whole healing proccess. I want that jessie to be in the past. Buried. Door closed.

[Jessica]

As a doctor i can tell you that in cosmetic surgery surgeons use special stiching techniques which minimize the development of scar tissue.


i wouldn't worry about the scars
 

is it true that the fairer the skin, the better scarring is ?

[greekmule]

in cosmetic surgery the incisions made to the face  are parallel to the "lines" of the face. apart from that  special stitching techniques are used by the surgeon. this means that the development of scar tissue is minimized and the scars will be almost unnoticeable.

apart from that the development of scar tissue depends on a lot of factors eg nutrition, thickness of the skin, overall health condition etc. and yeah the fairer the skin the better the scarring

[Natasha23]

Hi Jessica,
Although I can't really comment on the cosmetic aspect of surgery, I have had major orthopedic surgery in the past and it went horribly wrong.  I had two procedures on my right femur and hip to structurally realign my bones better, in order to alleviate a chronic joint pain condition.  Not only did it not hurt, my surgeon (top doctor, top hospital) shattered my hip socket, closed me up, and left me with a broken hip and severely damaged sciatic nerve for over 12 hours.  I had to go back into surgery 12.5 hours later for a trauma surgeon too put me back together and release my sciatic nerve that was hanging from a bone shard.  It is almost three years out and although I am out of my wheelchair, my right foot is still partially paralyzed (was completely paralyzed for a year) and is still very painful to this day from the nerve damage.  Reason I'm saying this is because scars are not the only thing you need to consider.  Doctors sometimes brush past all of the potential risks (including death), I guess they have to or they wouldn't be able to do their jobs.  My point is, if you can come to a place where you can accept what happened to you and how you look now, then that might be best.  Scarring is something completely individual, no one can really tell you how you'll scar but with plastic surgery I know they will make more of an attempt to conceal/minimize scars.  You also have to take into consideration what will happen if something goes wrong and you have to have more surgeries.  Insurance will not pay and you could be out literally hundreds of thousands of dollars.  My two surgeries and three weeks in the hospital was over $120,000.  You also have to make provisions for your child if god forbid, something happened to you and you died.  The latest statistics for infections contracted in the hospital are 1 in 20 patients, all from doctors and nurses not washing their hands in between patients.  Back to the scars, scar tissue can be painful.  My scars are pretty unsightly and to be honest, I hate that they're there.  I can't really consider getting them revised because I have nerve damage down my entire leg, but it's a constant reminder of what I've went through.  I can say though even if they were gone, I would still be bitter and angry towards the man who did this to me.
I'm sure my post sounds very pessimistic, and there are many people who come through surgery, cosmetic and other, just fine, but I think if you can leave well enough alone and focus on all the good things you do have (which is very hard... I have trouble with that myself), maybe that's best. 
Ultimately it will be your decision... you just have to look at it from every single possible angle, the good and the bad.  I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds.
-Natasha

[Jessica]

How are you NOW tasha ?

Thank you for your story, i wasn't looking for pleasing answers, exactly because i know things can go wrong.


3 years ago, i had some surgery, and i was going to have a liposuction done from knees to anckles because my bottom legs arent't gracious due to water retention and i was litterally discouraged to do it by the surgeon himself who said the MOST dangerous lipo was the one i wanted to do and he told me there was a risk i would not wake up.

So i didn't do it and cope with my HUGE complex.

But my jaw is another story, it actually hurts ?

And i don't know what to do. I really don't.

[Natasha23]

I'm doing much better than I was three years ago, but I still have a long way to go.  I have gotten some movement back in my foot and toes, but I still have what they call drop foot.  My walk is a bit abnormal since I have to consciously pick my right foot up so I don't drag it under me.  It still is very painful but I'm completely off of all my pain meds.
I understand pain is a big issue.  That's why I had my surgery... because I was in so much pain.  I was prepared for the surgery not to work, I wasn't prepared for my surgeon to f*ck up and permanently cripple me, leaving in more pain than I could ever imagine.  If I were you, I would exhaust physical therapy as much as possible.  There's also a great book called the Pain Cure, by Dr. Dharma Singh Khalsa.  It has some great tips for managing chronic pain... real things that are actually in your control, like PT and different nutrients.  He works on the gate theory-that pain travels through "gates" and you can work on ways to close the gates, thereby stopping or lessening the pain. 
The best thing to do if you don't know what to do, is NOTHING.  DOUBT MEANS DON'T, so you need to be still until you do know what to do.  I think if you agonize over what to do, you're not going to come to a conclusion.  I'd work on getting control of the pain, and once you feel you've done everything you can and it still hurts to badly, than I'd think about surgery.  Also, maybe you should check out other doctors besides plastic surgeons.  That way insurance would cover it, since you're coming from a pain standpoint and not a cosmetic one. 
You also have to ask yourself, is this pain you can live with?  I know how much pain sucks, but there are so many (drug-free) ways to manage it these days.  A friend of mine is also dealing with chronic pain from a shattered disc and she said for her, it's not about living with pain, it's living AROUND it, and creating a "new normal" for her life. 

[pilferk]

Jessica,

   With your new little one, I wouldn't be thinking of doing anything for at least the next few years (if you can stand to wait that long).  Little one's don't understand "recovery" very well and also might not understand the bruising and stitches in Mommy's face.  Just my humble opinion.

Assuming, however, the pain is too much to wait on correcting, I would be asking the questions you're asking us to a surgeon.  I know greekmule has given you a good start on some advice, but it's best to talk to a surgeon who can actually EXAMINE you to get more specific answers.  They should be able to explain the risks, recovery time frame, and the actual procedure you'll want done.  It may not JUST be cosmetic....from the sounds of things there will probably be some reconstruction, too.

[Jessica]

yes, reconstruction even BEFORE the cosmetic side, because it hurts.

Well, imagine i want to sing and act and recently found out that me meeting a human wall a few times with my face has damaged how i open my mouth and that i work and work and work on it with exercises and up until now, nothing does it ?

I am SO depressed.

[greekmule]

i know greekmule has given you a good start on some advice, but it's best to talk to a surgeon who can actually EXAMINE you to get more specific answers. ?They should be able to explain the risks, recovery time frame, and the actual procedure you'll want done

this is 100% correct.jessica u should talk to a surgeon who will perform physical examination, make u take some tests, take some xrays,CTs etc etc. this must be your first step- go see a surgeon.


i just wanna point out that every medical procedure has risks. esp orthopedic surgeries are very dangerous as the risk of death due to embolism, arrythmias and anaesthesia is relatively high. your case is not as complicated as natashas but u should take that in mind.

on the other hand the scars are a completely different subject-its just a matter of looks nobody dies from scars.and cosmetic surgeons have developed techniques that minimize the development of scar tissue in the face.


so to sum up:
1)go see a doctor
2)every operation has risks(eg death, nerve damage ,arterial lesions , infections etc,etc)
3)scars are just a cosmetic matter and if the surgeon is good they will be almost unnoticeable

hope i cleared some things up

[Jessica]

thank you everyone.

I mean it, because i am a rather impulsive person, especially when i am anxious and part of me growing up a bit is about asking for help or advice when i know i can do with it.

I am less stubborn.

And yes, i am going to look for a doctor. I'l lask my singing teacher, she probably knows a place.

[Natasha23]

Remember to get second opinions.  And talk to patients who have had the EXACT same procedure you are considering.  If the doctors can't arrange that (they would usually contact the patient who would then agree to talk with you) RUN from their office.
That's a definite red flag. 
Jessica, do you tend to baby your jaw and move it as little as possible?  Just curious.

[Jessica]

to give you an idea, both singing and acting teachers have compared me to Sigourney Weaver whose jaw is tight.

[Natasha23]

Jessica,
I've got another question for you. ?You want to sing and act...
Do you mean you want to be a singer/actress or do you want to be famous? ?

[Jessica]

Jessica,
I've got another question for you.  You want to sing and act...
Do you mean you want to be a singer/actress or do you want to be famous? 

bah, i don't give a shit about being famous, if i had wanted to, i would have by now, because i got very good connections when i was young. I started when i was 16 with an agency and i am 31 ( well, in 2 days) and then stopped for.....8 years ?

No, i just want to do what i love doing because i had given a promise that i have now taken back since love is broken.

But i want to do quality, the best i can, do you understand ?

[Natasha23]

I understand.  I was just curious. 
Are the exercises you're doing from your singing coach or from a physical therapist? 
I am a big believer in PT... I'd still be in my wheelchair, in my leg brace if I hadn't done PT.

[Jessica]

I understand.  I was just curious. 
Are the exercises you're doing from your singing coach or from a physical therapist? 
I am a big believer in PT... I'd still be in my wheelchair, in my leg brace if I hadn't done PT.

My singing teacher who is also an opera singer and pretty famous in her own right because both of her career and because she was singing teacher on our " pop idol".

I don't know any physical therapist in paris 

[Natasha23]

I didn't know you were from Paris.  I don't know how it is there, but talk to a doctor about referring you to a physical therapist.  They would be able to show you different exercises specific to your injury, from a medical standpoint, as opposed to a singing standpoint.  I did not intend to pass judgment on your singing coach or question how qualified she is.  I'm sure she's an excellent coach (from a vocal standpoint), but unless she's trained in anatomy, I'd be concerned that you might be causing more stress and not getting an rehabilitative benefits. 
Talk to an orthopedic surgeon.  See what they have to say.   

[Shirell]

Hi Jessica,
I read your post and I understand that you don't want people to feel sorry for you.  I went through a very similar bad time with my ex-husband a waste of space junkie.  The only good thing I ever got from him was my son.

Anyway, I am a beautician and have been for over 20 years. I've also had extensive surgery on my stomach as I have Crohn's disease (that's were the bowel ulcerates and dies and has to be removed). I've had two major surgeries and have been cut straight down the middle twice. 

I know it can be difficult to accept these things that happen sometimes but I think you need to consider seriously whether you should have surgery or not.  It is a big thing to undertake.  As for scarring, obviously you re concerned about that and you are still young.  All scarrin fades with time.  I discovered that myself.  You can help to reduce the redness of new scarring  You can help scarring to fade simply by moisturising it every day.  I think if I were you I would consider how much this may or may not benefit my life and if it will or not, affect my child's life. 


Would I have the surgery if I were you?  Probably not.  In truth.  Other people probably don't notice how you say it affects when you talk.  When we have something wrong we always think other people must be able to see it too.  Often they dont. 

Any way, best of luck.  I'm sure you'll make the choice that is right for you.

Remember beauty on the outside is only skin deep, it's whats on the inside that matters.