Your ideal man/ woman

[Jessica]

My knee-jerk reaction was to join the fun and bust Jessica's chops but the truth is that I admire her for knowing herself so well. ?And I personally don't believe that guys aren't picky. ?Anyone that will accept you for who you are? ?Anyone? ?If Rosie O'Donnell were to accept me for who I was, you know what, thanks but no thanks.

No one accepts you for who you are, not until you are much older. I will not change anyone and no one will change me, simply because it is virtually impossible to change.

This is why i am narrowing the qualities i look for in someone, so that i come as close as i can, one day, to someone who can bring me what i need. And reverse.

A few months back, the parental shrink ( =judge's order to see one for 6 months, over now) told me that i never made a choice in terms of love, i had just accepted what had come my way and that i had met wrong people because i wans'(t picky enough, because i had felt it was bad to ask what i needed.

I do now. For my sake, and for my son's sake.

Whether or not it's possible, my point on acceptance was that it's not enough to simply be accepted, you want to be accepted by the right person.? How to define that right person is the complicated part.

Also, IMO your standards were not that picky.? Height/physique minimum, not a slob, communicates important thoughts to you, not a bullshitter, no cheating, has stuff to talk about with you, won't laugh in your face when you discuss ghosts, lets you sleep late, likes food, tolerates 10-pound weight fluctuations and cultural differences, no God complex, likes to laugh and fuck, loyal, and not a pedophile.? Perhaps the not being around you for 6 months was unusual, but I suspect that after spending some time with you, he'll be OK with that (I kid, I kid).? Most of those seemed more like basic prerequisites to me where even if you met a guy with all those requirements, you still might find that you're just not that into him.

Thank you.

I didn't think i was this picky either. Not abnormally. I have been honest and posted this to see what other people look for, as we are all extremely different individuals. I guess some people don't actually know what they want or need.

Having a child and a child in danger around his own family, i really had to rethink a lot of things, including personal relationships.

It's a hurtful but interesting process.

I am evolving once more..

You know, i met women ( to go back to picky bits) who wanted a man who was attractive and rich, prepared to cope with them being arses as long as they " provided".

I provide for me and my son, and will keep on doing so, i don't " need" a man for that. I am not interested in a man for how much he earns.

I have dated ugly men but to me, they had " something". So on the looks front, it either clicks, or it doesn't. A guy doesn't have to look like a top model with the six pack and a tight buttock.

If i ever redate seriously oneday, i just want to date someone so i don't loose my time. As someone said, life is short and i have " lost" years in mistakes. Although i tremendously learnt in doing them.

[Jessica]

Actually, sterling mentionned i will always be disappointed ?

I could be if i had added a physique and an age, a job type and an income type, but i haven't. Because i couldn't care less.

I think you missed my point.? You won't be disappointed because your standards are too high.? What I was saying is that you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.? Meaning, you want to be disappointed.? Thus proving that all men are evil and you are better off alone.? Also, reaffirming your identity as the victim.?

Sterling, read below, i have been told by a peer of yours that my standards were not high enough..don't you love it when profressionals disagree ??

No, you weren't told anything by a peer of mine, because I'm not a therapist.? All you are getting is my personal opinion.

And there's a big difference between making smart choices and holding all men responsible for the evils of a few, which is what I think you are doing.? Be picky about finding someone with a good heart who treats you and your child well.? Much more than that is just an excuse to keep people away.? If you want to be close to another human being, you have to be vulnerable.? Don't want to be vulnerable?? Then you'll be safe and lonely.?

Well, that's where i disagree, i think a lot of people ( men AND women) have to be kept away. You can't get on with everyone, you can't love everyone nor can they. Why waste time and breathing space ?

Vulnerable yes, but not totally open to a point of stupidity.

[Jessica]

i dont care what anyone says, physical appearance is the most important thing to everyone when it comes to choosing a partner

whats the first thing that attracts you to someone? their physical appearance, THAN you go from there. you don't look at someone for the first time without even knowing them and say to yourself "wow! she/he has a great personality!"

not physical appearance, physical details for me.

usually, all men had a beautiful smile in my life.Even the ugly ones. I may sound like i speak of horses, but they had good teeth..

[GeraldFord]

I was at a bar the other day and a woman smiled at me. I went over and asked if I could buy her a drink---she said yes. After I while I talked about my love of asses. I asked if I could see her bare naked buttocks, sniff them and rub my face in them for six hours.

She got up and left, I don't understand what went wrong?

[Axl4Prez2004]

I agree with rj1221 and Pharmo on this one.  Yes, physical attraction is the first key.  But, if the chick's mind isn't in sync with yours, it aint gonna work. 

The ideal woman for me is not only my lover, she's my best friend.  That's my wife.  Yeah, it's sickeningly sweet, but I'm corny like that. 

Now, just for fun, my ideal woman needs to be physically beautiful, intelligent, and an absolute nurturer that loves kids.  Patience, understanding, curiosity, intelligence, 100% faithful and honest.  Did I mention athletic too?  God damn I lucked out!   

Jessica, all kidding aside, you'll find love when and where you least expect it.  Why?  Because that's when the walls are down and you can be yourself.  You've obviously been through a lot of crap and you are doing what is most important, raising your child.  The last thing a child needs is guy after guy being introduced into their life only to be a hazy memory a couple months later. 

Good luck.   

[Jessica]

Jessica, all kidding aside, you'll find love when and where you least expect it.? Why?? Because that's when the walls are down and you can be yourself.? You've obviously been through a lot of crap and you are doing what is most important, raising your child.? The last thing a child needs is guy after guy being introduced into their life only to be a hazy memory a couple months later.?

Good luck.? ?

Cheers.

I won't do this, dating guy after guy etc..

Plus, i have a rule :

Should i date a guy and have an intimate relationship, he will not set foot in my home for a long time.
I'd rather have my son babysat all night by my cousin than introduce a man to my son unless he is for keeps.

[Lisa]

I was at a bar the other day and a woman smiled at me. I went over and asked if I could buy her a drink---she said yes. After I while I talked about my love of asses. I asked if I could see her bare naked buttocks, sniff them and rub my face in them for six hours.

She got up and left, I don't understand what went wrong?

I told you I needed more then one drink!

[Axl4Prez2004]

As soon as I read the first sentence from Nixon, I knew it was made up..."I was at a bar the other day and a woman smiled at me."  Yeah, like we're gonna believe that from you.   

[GeraldFord]

I like butts, one of God's greatest gifts, IMHO. The touch of nice, round, soft bare-naked buttocks of a woman is all a man really needs in this life.

[GeraldFord]

As soon as I read the first sentence from Nixon, I knew it was made up..."I was at a bar the other day and a woman smiled at me."? Yeah, like we're gonna believe that from you.? ?

I'm no Cary Grant but I'm not bad looking.

[Axl4Prez2004]

Just yanking your chain Nixon.   

Women are great.  I'll give 'em 2 thumbs up. 

[GeraldFord]

Just yanking your chain Nixon.? ?

Women are great.? I'll give 'em 2 thumbs up.?

What would your wife say if you went up to her and asked  if you could burry your head in her bare naked buttocks for 7 hours?

[Lisa]

Just yanking your chain Nixon.? ?

Women are great.? I'll give 'em 2 thumbs up.?

What would your wife say if you went up to her and asked? if you could burry your head in her bare naked buttocks for 7 hours?

how much is in the chequing account?

[Axl4Prez2004]

Just yanking your chain Nixon.   

Women are great.  I'll give 'em 2 thumbs up. 

What would your wife say if you went up to her and asked  if you could burry your head in her bare naked buttocks for 7 hours?

I don't even know how to respond to that question.     Like I've said before, you are a good comedian.   

[2112]

humouristic, christian, happy, etc etc no fatty no skinny mixture, avoid bad music as far as possible, not be damaged by sleaze etc etc

[GNRreunioneventually]

I was at a bar the other day and a woman smiled at me. I went over and asked if I could buy her a drink---she said yes. After I while I talked about my love of asses. I asked if I could see her bare naked buttocks, sniff them and rub my face in them for six hours.

She got up and left, I don't understand what went wrong?

lol she probably thought you were selffish you pleasing your self and not her. What if she wanted to bury her face in your ass............and fight for air

[Sin Cut]

If you look at couples, you never get two funnies together or two depressed together. Opposite attracts and feed on one another. Your comment was a bit immature.

come to think of it I just realized that I've always been the more social on in my relationships. Damn.

And Jessica hit's this dead on with the opposites, since I've never dated a guy either?

I am normally selfish. I am not a nurse, i am not a cleaner, i am not a cook, i am not a housekeeper, i am not paid to do it, i am not a homeslave, i do it if i want to, if i don't want to, i don't HAVE to. Men have arms and legs too. It is caring FOR me and not after an adult person who can take care of himself. All men i lived with had mothers and yet needed a woman wiping their bum like their mom. Not me. I am someone independant who can wipe his own. someone ADULT.

What, but the guy should? Since you don't *want* to? I can almost see a scenario where the guy is coming home after a 12-hour shift and you just didn't *want* to take out the trash or you didn't *want* to do the dishes.

Tell me do you expect him to do them or do you just plan to leave it messy?

What the hell is wrong with the picture; if my gf makes me coffee every morning before she goes to work she's what, my slave?
And yes, I'm a morning sleeper so if I go to work before her I'm all ready in such a rush I don't got time to make any coffee.

Pardon me if I'm wrong but if for me if you start to count what he does and what you do around the house I feel the relationship is seriously wrong.

I mean the next step would prolly start to argue "He have to do more around the house since his pay is higher than mine and I wan't us to get the same compensation for every working hour"

Christ.

I think you misunderstand women. Having criterias is a part of getting older and not accepting people just because they came your way, but getting older is about making choices and not feeling guilty about it, not feeling guided by people's ideas or views on our own life, refusing to settle for what makes one unhappy and going forward. Everyone has flaws. I accept flaws. But what i talked about isn't flaws, to me, it is worse. Not liveable.

I dunno know about this, for my experience young people break up more easily and with age there comes a certain perseverance to try to make thing's work out.

At least that's what I hope.

Another thing, I don't think there's any relationship where a pair don't need to make adjustments to make it work.

(Yup, in my case it's that I'm trying not to cheat? )

[GeraldFord]

If you look at couples, you never get two funnies together or two depressed together. Opposite attracts and feed on one another. Your comment was a bit immature.

I can't quote anything offhand, but in the long-run, studies find that opposites DO NOT attract. Long lasting relationships are formed from when two people share similar socioeconomic status, interests, and world/religous views.

[stolat]

If you look at couples, you never get two funnies together or two depressed together. Opposite attracts and feed on one another. Your comment was a bit immature.

I can't quote anything offhand, but in the long-run, studies find that opposites DO NOT attract. Long lasting relationships are formed from when two people share similar socioeconomic status, interests, and world/religous views.

But dude! The Proddies and Catholics in Ireland just want some goddam peace!

[anythinggoes]

If you look at couples, you never get two funnies together or two depressed together. Opposite attracts and feed on one another. Your comment was a bit immature.

I can't quote anything offhand, but in the long-run, studies find that opposites DO NOT attract. Long lasting relationships are formed from when two people share similar socioeconomic status, interests, and world/religous views.

Erm not exactly true i had an 11 year relationship with someone and we were and still are complete opposites of each other, ok it finished last year, but there are still attempts to get the relationship going again

Ok not the best argument but it is possible to be happy with someone opposite to you