Relationship advice thread

[Axl4Prez2004]

I've seen so many abused women and it is really sad. I really shouldn't be so harsh on them though cause it is sort of a disease like anything else as well.

Battered Wife syndrome is real

True dat D...it's all so sad. 

There's emotional "abuse" as well, and it can be as damaging as physical abuse is, IMO. And it's also harder to tell if someone's suffering from it, because it doesn't show on the outside.

I believe Axl4Prez's Rules #'s 1, 3, and 4 cover emotional abuse:

Never date a man who is violent in any way, shape, or form.  (outside of an athletic endeavour of course)


Never date a man who disrespects you by his words or actions. 

Do date the man who supports you in your own personal goals/life fulfillment plan.


Then again, it does show on the outside...not physically, but the victim is not going to be happy and that should be apparent to people who know you best.

...and Journey, sorry babe, it'a all science.     You (and everybody reading this) is a complex combination of nature and nurture. 

[norway]

You (and everybody reading this) is a complex combination of nature and nurture. 

Vanir and Aesir. Giant and Ansur

[Jessica]

Keep on posting I have been reading the 6 pages. Atari glad to help. How are things ?

[Jessica]

Thanks for imputing in this thread. I am single again and said the things that pissed me off to the guy I was seeing, one of them being his over drinking not being cool but pathetic and I told him he is a looser.
He kind of got all worked up but I coudlnt care less as sex isn't everything and my needs come first.
He told me to get lost which is fine with me because I don't have it in me, I am neither relate or aa's ! LOL

Next

[freedom78]

Forgive my complete and total confusion, but in a few days you went from this...

When I am with him I feel like I am part of a one piece. It's beyond description. The sex is amazing and there is that little something more ..unique and very special..

..and feeling like one is like feeling like there is total unity with him, like a perfect match

To this...

Thanks for imputing in this thread. I am single again and said the things that pissed me off to the guy I was seeing, one of them being his over drinking not being cool but pathetic and I told him he is a looser.
He kind of got all worked up but I coudlnt care less as sex isn't everything and my needs come first.
He told me to get lost which is fine with me because I don't have it in me, I am neither relate or aa's ! LOL

Next

So...what am I missing here (besides the obvious potential for multiple personality disorder)?

[TAP]

So...what am I missing here (besides the obvious potential for multiple personality disorder)?

A good Rick Allen joke.

[*Timothy*]

I guess the adequateness wore off.

[Sin Cut]

Forgive my complete and total confusion, but in a few days you went from this...

When I am with him I feel like I am part of a one piece. It's beyond description. The sex is amazing and there is that little something more ..unique and very special..

..and feeling like one is like feeling like there is total unity with him, like a perfect match

To this...

Thanks for imputing in this thread. I am single again and said the things that pissed me off to the guy I was seeing, one of them being his over drinking not being cool but pathetic and I told him he is a looser.
He kind of got all worked up but I coudlnt care less as sex isn't everything and my needs come first.
He told me to get lost which is fine with me because I don't have it in me, I am neither relate or aa's ! LOL

Next

So...what am I missing here (besides the obvious potential for multiple personality disorder)?

Well, this is what happens if someone's only cares of his own needs and if those needs always have to come first.

This "I'm a woman, worship me!" only works to some extent.

And, isn't everyone in France a drunk? I mean a few glasses of wine over the dinner, a few more over the supper and another bottle in the evening?

[Jessica]

I wnt from being happy to feeling utter disgust looking at someone who has a real problem with alcohol.
I hadn't realized since it had been only a three months thing. I lived long years with a an alcoholic parent and will not ever date an alcoholic. Period.

[Jessica]

French or foreign I only have pity for substance abusers and they are a waste of my time

[TAP]

Here's my advice - don't discuss the intimate details of your relationship with a bunch of people you've never met on a public message board. It will almost certainly drive your partner to drink.

[Lisa]

...or Tap to post!

[norway]

French or foreign I only have pity for substance abusers and they are a waste of my time

A bit egoistic but I support it 100%

The balance is to attack the alcoholic and the substance abuse without necesarily attacking the individual.

my needs come first.

You don't mean living off of the productivity of men do you?

Here's my advice - don't discuss the intimate details of your relationship with a bunch of people you've never met on a public message board.

Why not, outside cultures (as long as we have them) often give inspiration and guidance

[AtariLegend]

I think someone in this thread should really try entering into their next relationship without a thesis.

[Jessica]

I discuss where I want to and it's surely better here than at work.
What would drive him insane would be if I gave his identity.
Mind this I have no intention to dwell on it, or him.
I have much more important worries to take care of, and these will not be discussed anywhere.
You know what? When you treat people with respect, you get respect.
So if I overtalked of him, and if anyone here has the slightiest idea, it then means he did exactly the same.
Andthat is when I tell him I dedicate him the axl ' sorry' song.
Fits.

[Jdog0830]

I discuss where I want to and it's surely better here than at work.
What would drive him insane would be if I gave his identity.
Mind this I have no intention to dwell on it, or him.
I have much more important worries to take care of, and these will not be discussed anywhere.
You know what? When you treat people with respect, you get respect.
So if I overtalked of him, and if anyone here has the slightiest idea, it then means he did exactly the same.
Andthat is when I tell him I dedicate him the axl ' sorry' song.
Fits.

perhaps but some people do change u never know

[Jessica]

That is what I told myself in multiple situations in my life being overly naive to a point of blank stupidity.
I wouldn't have ended up where I am if I had believed people don't change.
The ones who do are rare and they'd need to prove it because I am not going to believe anything just because it is said.

[SLCPUNK]

No offense, but you really come off as bat shit crazy.

[Jessica]

Funnily enough. So I should kneel down and take a druggie or a drunk to be normal ?

Are you on crack ?

[Jada]

Okay, I'm trying to make sense of this thread... So...

Jessica fell in love or had a serious crush on a guy who drinks too much, but realized that she won't be able to date him anymore because of his problems. What's so f*cking crazy about that?

Besides, leaving a person with an addiction may be the only way you can help them realize that they have a serious problem. Even if you're the perfect girl/boyfriend, it's not gonna make them quit doing whatever it is that they're doing to themselves. At least not in most cases. You'll only end up hurting yourself.