Here Today... Gone To Hell!

I love to flirt (in case you guys hadn't noticed) So I would love for others (I know you guys are out there) to flirt. We're always getting busted by the mods for getting off topic, so lets bring the topic that we usually get on here....
Here are some starters....

Hey, beautiful. You cum here often?

What's your sign? Yield, Stop, or School Zone?

Are you happy to see me or are you Dick Cheney?

Hi baby...

Do you like the cock? (THIS WAS JIM'S LINE)

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself. ;) :smoking:

Aye, and you're not going to find one better.

Hey babe, I got an STD and now you can, too!

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Holy shit, that was great!!

Pure gold :beer:

And one day i'll be drunk enough/stoned enough to use that line ;).......

Hey, come here often? :hihi:

You're like a parking ticket. You've got fine written all over you.... ;)

d ye have a number for god please,i need to ring him.i think ive just found his missing angel.


my usual chatup line is "for fuks sake woman,get in there and wash that fukin thing.i aint gonna go down on that until its been disinfected and washed"

"What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??"

And then my all time favorite:

"Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?"

That's good...Does it actually work?

I'm the lime and your the coconut. Let's drink them both up.

If I said you had a good body would you hold it against me?

I'm yet to find out.....

...i generally stay away from using these cheesy pick up lines in person

How about I just wrap it around you?

Shame on you Goldie. You are old enough to be my mother  :hihi:

they're the whitest teeth i ever came across.

"Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?"



















 ;)

kinda cheesy but here goes....:

me: "Hey miss, I'm from the Police..........and..umm......I'm gonna arrest you for stealing......"

cute girl: "Stealing?....but....I didn't steal anything"

me: "yes you did.....my heart..."

cute girl: "aaaaw"

me: "Now put your hands behind your head and bend over...."

naah, that last line just don't work....? :hihi:

Hey baby, that ain't the only place I got an afro.

Alternate:

me: "Hey miss, I'm from the Police..........and..umm......I'm gonna arrest you for stealing......"

cute girl: SHIT!!!  Who told you!?!

me: Huh?  Umm... It was a pickup line..??!

cute girl: Oh... Right.   Well Ummm... Lets have SEX!!

me: Yay!!

Or:

Me: "Hey miss, I'm from police..."

The murderer on the run shoots you in the chest.

Better?

This would be wrong why?? ???

Old enough to know what's good for you!

"legs is the word of the day, lets go home and spread the word"

This is flirting? LOL! Maybe if you are in high school LOL!
...okay well here's one for the ladies to use:
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

btw, Blue Cut (buddy, pal) that STD line was just wrong (LOL) dark-sidedly funny but wrong :hihi:

Couldn't a man use that line as well???? ;)

You guys are corney with pickup lines! Its a wonder anyone is getting laid!

the cornier the better!

fuck me if i'm wrong, but is your name steve?

LOL

fuck me if i'm wrong, but is your name steve?

Continuation:

It Is?!!  :-X Well, goodbye, uh,  person. See ya later individual...

That's funny. It took me a second to get it.

Cheekay!



P.S Sandman and noonespecial, pure gold!!

That is a hell of a pick up line!! "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name steve?" Wow!! I bet you get all the men with that! HA! :hihi: You've got me wrapped around your finger (let's see if you know how to use it!) and I'm not steve ( :'() :smoking:

 :rofl: :rofl:

Why don't we all just quit with the cheesy pick up lines eh!

This is much better: "Hey sexy, want me to suck your dick?"

:rofl:

i'm cool with that...
but that only happens in your imagination

Yea... most girls are prudes that's why!

Screw being prudish! EMBRACE THE SLEAZE!!! :peace:

In that case...... Turn around bitch, I've got a use for you  :-*

 :P

Okie! ;D *turns around and bends over* :smoking:


:hihi:

I'm like a rabbit, just so you know  :hihi:

Fine with me!! :smoking: Now are you gunna fuck it or are you just gunna stand there makin' comments? :hihi:

*fucks SkynyrdGirl while tappin her on 'r ass*  ;D

lol what do you think you doin with your 2 centimeters? ;)

Oooh fuck yea!! Harder you cunt!!! Make me scream!

:smoking: :rofl:

PS: Brownstone don't be cruel! Apologize! ;)

*makes SkynyrdGirl scream like hell, shows her all the fancy spots in tha house.....and suddenly......I scream "Retreat!! retreat!!....."flaaatsssss"....all over Brownstone......

That's what you get when your watching too closely Brownstone? :P

 :hihi: :rofl:

you mean like this?

http://www.flurl.com/uploaded/porn_blooper_18336.html

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That clip is hilarious!

Oooh, you have a nice house! ;D :hihi:

lmao!! now that's hilarious.......great minds think alike   :hihi:

Yep! :hihi: Now get back to my ass muthafuckah!! :hihi:

Why were they filming someone, filming someone?



Edit: Flirt, Flirt, ass.

(http://neogandalf.tooblog.fr/images/wookie.JPG)

wow...wookie wuv... I bet he's packing more than a light saber!! :smoking:

Why bother quoting the photo in the post above you...

There's a ton of flirting going on in The Jungle recently, it's really interesting and it is fun to read and I like to read it because it is so funny lol and it is good it makes me happy but it is good to read even when you don't post because that would be weird but I like to read it because it is interesting to read and you guys are really funny when's the wedding lolz.

Something like that.

Now.........that might be an idea.................. whaddayathink SkynyrdGirl?  ;D Or should I just fuck you in the ass once in a while?   :drool: :hihi:

*In the meanwhile waiting for SkynyrdGirl's answer.............DTM obeys and goes back to ride her twat this time...*  :D

Or you cumming yet?   :-*

Yea just fuck my ass once in a while! Oooh yea baby!! :hihi:

Ooh yea fuck me DTM! Harder you cunt!! *slaps* I SAID HARDER!! Rip my ass apart and fuck it!!

:rofl: I'm a dirty bitch aren't I! Hehehe! :smoking:

lol, what the fuck is wrong with you people :D

Not enough real life interaction with people is my guess. But anal sex ahoy!

Nothin's wrong with us! I have a BF, and I have a lot of real life interaction with him... oh boy do I ever..., but there's nothin' wrong with a bit of hilarious bumsecks talk... :hihi:

Now where has DTM gone? He's supposed to be ridin' my ass! But is he? NO! What a fag! :rofl:

Oh boy.

I like this quote. It tickled me in a good place.

Aww!! Good li'l wookie!! *pets*

:hihi:

god, i'd want to see how you people act in real life  :D

I act exactly the same. I'm a fucking sleazebag stuck in the 80s even though I only spent 4 years in that awesome decadant decade... :hihi: :crying:

Me too, but I'm not an annoying little bitch that spews shit.  :)

I'm kidding!

But seriously...

Sort it out.

OK Jim, don't push it alright!! I may be annoying sometimes but I do NOT take insults well.


And I don't need to sort ANYTHING out. I'm fine as I am. So nerr!! :hihi:

You have a choice of replies:

a) All right?

Well. That's as may be. But, you know. All I'm saying is don't let it get stale. Don't let it get boring. Otherwise it will just become, you know, annoying.  :)

b) lolz ,push it~? i can push it as far as you want baby!!!!!!!!

I think I'll take the second one thankyou very much!! ;D :peace:

Sorry love, it was a test question. You're banned now.

Sorry.

Nooo!!! :crying: I love this forum! Please don't ban me!! *falls to knees and begs like a dog*

didn't you ban me about a month back too? :hihi:

Fuck yeah I did. So what the hell are you still doing posting?!

See, because I can't ban people outright like the /j man can, I just have to assume that you'll stop posting when I say you're banned.

Get it? Got it?

Quality.

I was just hoping you would double ban me or something, that would be historic.. :D
nah Im just dreaming now.

You're mean Jim!! You banned me AND you ate a poor li'l kitty! Not to mention the degradation of making me get on my knees and beg like a dog... :crying: :hihi:

dogs beg on their knees?

Well,

I remember you getting down on your knees, but it wasn't to beg like a dog.



...ahh bollocks, I'm as bad as you lot now.

any excuse to get down on the knees, ey.

....    :nervous:

Hehe! Woo! We've corrupted Jimbob! *stays on knees* :rofl:

Jimbob!   :rofl:   

Yep! I felt compulsed to call him that! I wanted to for AGES but didn't because I was scared of his Modly powers... :rofl:

He prefers to go by Jim Dear, but he's too shy to ask anyone to call him that.  Aww!




 :hihi:

Awww! Maybe he'll prefer Jimbob Dear! :hihi:

Right, you two...

Ahh, forget it. I'm off to bed.

If anybody is wondering what the fuck happened to this thread, sorry, I was caught drinking on the job.

Bollocks to it.

I let these two run amock.

Sorry about that...

:hihi: Aww Jimbob, don't worry! We won't bite.... hard... :hihi:

Where be DTM I wonder? My bum is feeling unnaturally empty... :rofl:

I'll fill the void :hihi:

Gee, how noble of you   :hihi:

DTM was away to fuck another girl.  :P

you see................one TWAT=fun    two TWATs = better  ;D

After that......DTM was to sleep....and forgot to look at this topic  :hihi:

*handcuffs SkyrnyrdGirl* and teases her  :-*

Well seeing as Jim isn't up to the job i'll help out.



PM's people!

:hihi: You guys are slowly and steadily graspin' the concept of sleaze! : ok:

Seems that there be three of y'all wantin' to err.. "help me out" :hihi:

Let the gangbang COMMENCE! :rofl:

NO!

Let the gangbang end here.? This is all really, really lame.? If you wanna have cyber sex you should find a chat room or stick to PMs.

I wanna hear some chat-up lines.? I need ammo, godammit.

Danny... seriously, chat up lines do NOT WORK! Unless the girl you're talkin' to happens to be either too young or a retard! :hihi:

And it isn't lame! We don't ACTUALLY wanna cyber. Its just all a joke OK! So chill. CHILL!! Calm blue oceans... calm blue oceans.... :)

I don't need calm oceans, I wasn't pissed off at all.? I just felt like being a mod for once.

And I know chat-up lines don't work, but it'd be nice to find one solid, reliable way of getting a conversation going with a girl.? Usually I end up asking loads of boring questions like "do you like it here?" or "are you here with your friends?" and gradually they lose interest cause i'm not being myself.? What I really want to say is "yo, as a rule I really fucking hate small talk but if you did get to know me you'd find out i'm actually pretty cool.? Do you wanna have some sex now cause i've been seriously gagging for it since me and my girlfriend broke up?"

Reakon that'd work?? I doubt it. :-\

naah, ze think izz...... When some girl see's something in you, or think's your cute or whatever....it doesn't really matter what you say then, they will like you anyways if they had an eye on you..... It's all about eye-contact.......and having the same interests....talk is much easier when you have something in common...

Dude, if you want to say "I hate small talk" then say "I hate small talk".

Don't be afraid of being yourself! : ok: Being yourself, and being confident is the sexiest thing in the world and is guaranteed to get you laid.

You're still a mod?

Good call though. I did try...

But these guys were just too cool for me to handle.

As for small talk, aye, it's bollocks. I find talking about the future is a good conversation...thing. Especialy being a student, it has a ton of relevance, can be pretty interesting and can lead anywhere.

Oh, and I just realised how off topic that was. But, if being on topic is lolz when's the wedding baby, you'd get it, then fuck yeah I was off topic,

bitch.

:rofl: thats fuckin funny!!

And hey! This is the off topic sextion of the forum!! It doesn't matter! : ok:

does anyone practice lucid dreaming here?? ::) (not a line)

I love when I have lucid dreams!! They feel so real and they're usually really fucked up! And then when I wake up I feel really really well rested! : ok:

I usually just skip the small talk  :hihi:

But Danny,  try this "Ever been in a limo? Ok then, let's go."

It works every time.

:hihi: But what if then she gets to your car and it ain't a limo and she goes "WTF!!? I THOUGHT YOU HAD A LIMO!! LIAR!!"

:rofl:
Then just slap her across the face, drag her to the back seat of your car and rape her ass!! :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

Ok, maybe I went a bit far there... sorry! : ok:

Rape is not funny...   :no:

Honey, I did get her to my car didn't I?  :hihi:

lol, at least this works with me, since I got one  :smoking:

Yea sorry bout that... just went a bit far... sowwy... *puppy eyes*

*Wookie rapes you for being inconsiderate*

*stops wookie*

Only Chuck Norris can stop a wookie.

I'll surprise you.

Not over the internet you won't.

lol.

can you rape someone over the internet?  ;D

Good Point,LOL

I once raped myself at home by myself at work while on the internet. That was an awkward night...

how did that go?

It lasted about ten seconds and then I cried for about an hour.  :nervous:

sounds like fun

Did you cry because you suck in the sack?

I cried because it was so big it hurt. A lot. It only lasted 10 seconds because I'm so hot just looking at me will make you climax, and that's not gender exclusive, which can be a bad thing at times.

No, but there are probably people crying because of the state of this fucking thread.

When you guys do your flirting in the threads thing that's becomming pretty popular, it's nothing more than a bit boring and a little lame.

But this page of bollocks is just that,

fucking bollocks.

So how about you don't, eh?

I mean, I don't find it offensive or anything like that, though I'm sure there are some people that will, but it's not like it's even funny,

often a redeeming feature of humour in bad taste.....

Lock it, don't complain about it.

Harmful flirting...

If i've told you once i've told you a million times dude, don't leave the wrestling section it's a big shitty world out there, page after page of this stuff is just really confusing and you get Lost i mean it's quite obvious these people are sick and need to be Locked up. ?You need to drink some Jin and come back to where the Sun shines ;)

Nooo! Don't lock it! Pleease Jimbob! Don't lock the thread! I'll be ... nice! *squeezes boobs together* :hihi:

lol, although you do lose points, and a lot of them, for including Sun. I fucking hate her.


My problem wasn't with the thread itself, do you get it?

Make sense, no? Please, do.

Lock it?

Oh, no.

I could never do that...

I'm trying to use different ones each time.

I mean we had Jack & Charlie.

Now Jin & Sun.

Lost as the show name is put in all.

And Locke as your fave character who is not a cock (Jack...) i'm squeezing into 'em all. ;)

While i'm here....

....you ever read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer?

On topic.

 :-*

Yeah, that will do.

You're about as enticing as a bout of diarrhea. And this stupid thread isn't much better. Fuckin' junk...

Oh, I agree with you.

...MCT.

But they're going to be doing this kind of shit on the board anyway.

So I thought that we might as well try and contain it.

If I locked this, I'm sure that it would just spill out all over the board, so I thought that I might as well try and Quarantine it...

(You liked that one, didn't you Stoned?)

But, seriously,

I was being serious.

O RLY 
SRSLY

Now this, this is profound.

lolz hunz.

You must have me confused with the shitty Izzy. I'm not calling for action, I'm just calling it like I see it.

Same old...

Well,

I was actually just using your post as a platform to give an answer as to why I haven't locked this yet.

I didn't want to get into the a debate over the thing with one of those involved, do ya ken?

What is brown sugar?

Fucking tasty, is what it is

If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to ya. Now go to fuck, 'cause you're useless.

Bad relations with the Wookies, I have.

For a star trek geek, you're really mean.

That's what I was thinking Wookie... without the Star Trek bit :hihi: .
MCT, go fuck yourself you motherfucking piece of shit!! After all... that's all you're ever going to be able to fuck if you're that much of an asshole!! :rant:

OK sorry, but I had to get that off my shoulders.

Back on topic now!!

I agree with everything MCT said, and did, so does that make me a motherfucking piece of shit as well?

Insulting other members is against the rules, and saying 'Back on topic now!!' only works if you actually go back on topic.

Well, he did insult me without you wagging your "I'm a big man" mod stick at him, you hipocrite, so kiss my bum.

Wookie's have tempers, or at least that's what C-3PO told me.

Yea, well if insulting other members is against the rules, then have a go at MCT first cuz he was the one who insulted me! I'm not just gunna sit here and take that! Is that what you expected!!? Well then guess again!! MCT has a lot of nerve spewing that shit at me!! All I'm doin' is tryin' to have a little bit of FUN. Is that SUCH a crime that that motherfucker has to come along and say "You're as enticing as a bout of diarrhoea" and piss me off?

I'm sorry, but someone who says that deserves to be trussed up and castrated without an anaesthetic!!

And don't ANYONE DARE say that I should "have a sense of humor" about this. NO!! I WON'T!! How anyone could think someone could have a sense of humor about that comment needs their head checking out!!

And I said BACK ON TOPIC because this is the HARMLESS FLIRTING thread, IF you hadn't noticed! And therefore it should BE full of harmless flirting. NOT petty childish insults that do actually hurt!!

I don't know about you, but wouldn't YOU be hurt if someone seriously said that to you!? And wouldn't YOU want to have a huge long go at that person!?

EXACTLY.
FUCKING hell, I didn't fucking join this forum to be insulted left, right and center!! I joined this forum because I am a Gn'R fan! I entered this PART of the forum because I wanted to have a little FUN!

If you don't fucking like that, then FINE, but you don't have to go insulting me like that!!

And if you people say it was just a joke, then ya know what.... you SHOULD have said so!! I'm NOT someone who can take hurtful insults like that as a joke! SO you should have put " :hihi: I'm just kidding". But did you? NO! So I'm taking it seriously!

I'm not going to insult anyone else, because I don't want to get banned, because DESPITE that cruel treatment, I DO like this forum.

If you think I'm going overboard on this, trust me, I ain't. I could go a helluva lot harsher, but I'm not going to, because I'm not a worthless piece of shit.

And Jim, you should know better. You, being a mod, shouldn't insult members just to get them to retaliate. So fucking what! You don't like me. BIG DEAL. But don't fucking insult me. And don't fucking stick up for someone who's just fucking insulted me like that!


I am so fucking pissed off. Seriously. Beyond almost ALL reason!!

PS: Thanks Wookie! :)

Saying Skynyrd girl isn't enticing, that ain't funny.

Rape, on the other hand, is.

Look...

I'm going to lock this thread.

Not because of what it is,

but because of what it's become.

My advice?

Start the thread again.

Hell, use the same title.

We'll ignore it,

you can have your...fun.

Seriously.

Just...

Calm down.

Oh, by saying that 'we' would ignore it, I meant those of us who think that it's a load of old bollocks...

Not that it would be free from moderation.

But, you got that, yeah?