bush's next speech should read like this

[flicknn]

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night.

[freedom78]

Interesting thoughts.  I don't suppose it matters that all the countries on list 2 were right, does it?  However, it does sound like a Bush speech, because you were clever enough to realize that Bush WOULD be dumb enough to think that Vicente Fox is still the President of Mexico.  Perhaps Bush could end his speech with this thought: "This ridiculous policy is only valid for 18 more months, at which time the new President, even if he is from my own party, will have run so far away from my positions that he couldn't see them with the help of the Hubble telescope." 

I previously explained the Iraq war (to "Butters" I believe) in the following way:  The US is like a drunk driver.  The British and the French are our two best friends.  But they're different kinds of friends.  Now, while drunk, the British seem like a great friend!  After all, they want to get in the car with us to go to the liquor store (think Razzle, to the US's Vince Neil).  The French seem like bad friends.  They're a fuckin' buzzkill, trying to take our car keys.  But at the end of the day, neither the US nor the UK would have warred against Iraq ALONE.  They (we) both enabled the other to do something stupid, by our simultaneously bad judgment.  France, at the start of the war, seemed like a lousy friend.  Turned out they had our best interest at heart. 

That said, your "speech" does raise some interesting points:

1.) Does the world need a "policeman" of some sort.
---If "no" then problem solved.  The US should be militarily uninvolved.

---If "yes" then there are other questions.

2.) Who/what should be the world's policeman?

---If it's the US, then why are we, alone, responsible for paying the cost of maintaining such an enormous military and sacrificing lives in the cause of justice?

---If not the US, then when will some other country or organization step up, in a large enough scale, such that the US can step down?

[flicknn]

I forgot to add this was in my email , sent by a friend . I was like whoa the first part sounded good , but then it got all crazy and shit

[freedom78]

I forgot to add this was in my email , sent by a friend . I was like whoa the first part sounded good , but then it got all crazy and shit

I wasn't certain if it was meant to be truly held political views or a parody (and a scary one) of how Bush might handle US foreign policy in a post war world. 

[Prometheus]

im guessing parody, as on economic polcies alone big oil will be shit out of luck.... alaska.... may last decades..... well longer in this new world visioned..... because frankly the us economy would crumble because besides oil there are a shit load of other required imports that the us just wold not be able to supply. Funny thing is Canada is on list 2...... for what reason im unclear... not going to iraq? well with us ahving a small military and an army about 5% the size of the US and about 10% of the USMC our 2500 troops in the 'ghan' is pretty damn good and we will be the last to buy and first to field the leopard2 a6m in combat, the first time it has ever been in combat this summer (rated #1 in the world with a less then 1% edge on the M1A2) While we dont have canadian uniforms "offically" on the ground in Iraq, there has been about 200 canadian soilder rotated through transfer programs in Iraq, we have had at lest 1 warship stationed in the PG working in security and boarding roles since the onset, and to top it off we were the C&C of teh entire fleet 3 times. US intel groups have had 55% of usage time booked for sat surval since '02.

what else are we doing....... hmmmm... buying a bunch of chinooks to increase our capability, in the market for some Attack heilos.... most likely AH-1Z super Cobras, got 4 C-17's rolling off the lines first to be operational in augest, with options on another 4. all in all canada has purcahsed about 13-14 billion in mil assests from amercian companies........... oooohhhh you know that snazzy precsion arty round the US has been talking up, excalibur i beleive its called........ never been used in combat ..... wrong...... we are already fielding the gen1 version....... what the US is getting ia a gen 1.5-2 because of us and suggestions that we have been making.

intresting info for the economics of canada and the US.

2005 data

canada exported 360 billion in various item, and imported 314 billion in various items

Canada is the leading export market for 39 of the 50 U.S. States, and ranked in the top three for another 8 States. In fact, Canada is a larger market for U.S. goods than all 25 countries of the European Community combined, whose population is more than 15 times that of Canada

The U.S. and Canada enjoy the largest energy trade relationship in the world. Canada is the single largest foreign supplier of energy to the United States--providing 17% of U.S. oil imports and 18% of U.S. natural gas demand. Recognition of the commercial viability of Canada?s oil sands has raised Canada?s proven petroleum reserves to 175 billion barrels, making it the world?s second-largest holder of reserves after Saudi Arabia. The electricity grids of the United States and Canada are closely linked and meet jointly developed reliability standards. Quebec is a major source of electricity for New England. (note on the quebc bit.... uses power from newfoundland..... at a cut throat rate.... fuckers

Canada is the sixth-largest foreign investor in the United States about 235 billion and on the reverse the us has 228 billion

Canada is the single largest supplier of Oil to  the exporting just under 2 million b/d the saudis are just over 1.4 million a day...... and if u combine the top 3 ME exporters to the us (saudi iraq kuawit) they com in just over 2.1 million a day..... with all new projects that will be online by 2015 canada will be at about 3-3.5 milion a day...... and those 3 combined will be in a state of decline.... depending on Iraq stabality.

Canada has the strongest and fastest growing economy in the G8 for the last 7 years




funny thing is why canada is on list 2, the country that fares the best out of the US pulling a move like that is canada.... cause while the us says dont piss us off... they are still going to be sucking on our oil filled dick and asking for more.... lol

back on alaska again..... even if tommorow Bush said start drilling, based on labour crunch for teh skilled trades required to do alll the work and the time that it would take to get everything in place.... it would still take about 3-5 years before the first well was able to go online, and to get up to a level of production to eliminate all forgien oil, would take several more years, and it would deplete the alaska fields in under 2 decades, so the US would still be stuck on forgien oil. another thing of note, if the US invaded canada and said your now part of us...... it woud be as bad or worse then Iraq, besides the fact that our first responder would be a List 1  "britan" france denmark... pretty much NATO, and the US is not going to fire nukes into canada... most pop centres are located so close to the US that fall out would cover major US centers... other places sure... then make the resources unusuable for decades...... and that leaves you in a long drawn out war that nobody wins....... she be some fight though.... ahhh if only i could watch a movie.... or a simulation just like that..... LOL

[fuckin crazy]

What a load of Fascist shit .

EDIT : the article I mean .

[SLCPUNK]

I'd suggest a much shorter speech:

I resign.

[2NaFish]

blah blah blah.

cut off your nose to spite your face. nobody likes us and we dont care. last days of Rome, etc....

c'mon China!!

[TAP]

I'd suggest a much shorter speech:

I resign.

Too many syllables for him to remember. How about "I quit".

[TAP]

Anyway, lame as Bush is, I don't think he would sink as low as throwing the toys out the pram and taking his ball home. That was really, really pathetic - I guess some people will never understand the difference between loving your country and loving your government.

[Malcolm]

Flicknn, I like some of your ideas you posted. But watch what you say about Canada..Theyve been very good to the States

[SLCPUNK]

Flicknn, I like some of your ideas you posted. But watch what you say about Canada..Theyve been very good to the States

We should start being nicer to Canada, they have a lot of oil in their dirt up there.

[flicknn]

this was in my email . from a freind I didnt create it

[AxlsMainMan]

Flicknn, I like some of your ideas you posted. But watch what you say about Canada..Theyve been very good to the States

We should start being nicer to Canada, they have a lot of oil in their dirt up there.

Supposedly more than Iraq..

[Prometheus]

haha how do u think i make any coin?