"Worst Kiss of Your Life" Thread

[AxlsMainMan]

i had an idea in which if you choose to do so, that we post the "the very worst, or even brutal kissing experiences" of our lives thus far.  in your post maybe describe what it was like, or like why it was so goddamn aweful. ok, mine would probably be my very first intimate kiss waaaaay back in grade 8 before i even knew what making out was. very first girlfriend, she was maybe a lil slutty daaaamn hot though) so she had experience and when our tongues kid of met i had no idea what to do! i sort of had a tongue seizure and needless to say it was over very quickly!

your turn, lol have fun

[Jessica]

Ok, i'll throw myself in and you are allowed to laugh :

I was 14 and we both had braces on our teeeth. Our mouths met, but as we wanted to part, we realised our braces were stuck and we had to call in for help..

[D]

my worst kiss was with this one chick she tried to swallow your head and she had bad breath, yuck!

[SLCPUNK]

I was at work years ago and went around the corner to sneak a kiss with this girl. We both went in at the same time (quickly) and our teeth totally slammed together. We did a little kiss after that, but it was akward and I wanted to stop. (Since we both almost knocked each other out with that teeth bit.) We never kissed again after that.

[D]

lmmfao! great one slc

my ex fiancee knows how i just detest mayonnaise and she had a  mouth full and kissed me, i couldve fuckin choked her!

my all time worst kiss was when my girlfriend snowballed me! just kiddin but that would be horrible!

[SLCPUNK]

I used to work with this other girl and she had her tongue pierced. I thought it was sexy and told her I never kissed a girl with a pierced tongue (that was just a little after 'my time' if you know what I mean.) So one day we kissed. I was bummed, I totally didn't like it. It was like something was in the way. LOL. I still think they look sexy though.

[D]

yeah i can totally relate, i remember when i was dating this chick and she had a tongue ring, i was so excited right before she gave me head cause i thought it would be like this wonderful magical thing

u could feel it but it really wasnt like all the hype, i was bummed out, however this isnt a worst blowjob thread but a worst kiss! my apologies!  

[SLCPUNK]

yeah i can totally relate, i remember when i was dating this chick and she had a tongue ring, i was so excited right before she gave me head cause i thought it would be like this wonderful magical thing

u could feel it but it really wasnt like all the hype, i was bummed out, however this isnt a worst blowjob thread but a worst kiss! my apologies!  

Maybe we should start a worst BJ thread?  

"She got confused and tried to floss her teeth...."

Uh..maybe not.

[Lisa]

I've been pretty lucky up untill about a year ago...I had a blind date with someone totally my opposite(uptight,bmw drivin,ego ass face)(heheh,sorry)
long story short,end of the evening he asks if he can kiss me goodnight,I was sort of flattered that he would actually ask y'know? I said yes and he turned into this slobbering,eating my face,sticking his tongue far enough down my throat to gag me, monster, not at all what i was expecting.....so I bit him,he got the idea do you guys believe he really thought I was playing hard to get and called to ask me out again

[slashsaxl]

well talking about first kisses, back at the tender age of 18 in a bush party, i was hitting on the girl i liked, by nights end we started making out, and her breath fuckin stunk, i mean something morning breath was like breathmint to this breath, anyways i couldn't handle it after a few seconds and pulled away, she wanted more, and i actually said 'holy fuck, do you got any gum to chew on', and get what she said 'sorry, i just finished puking', i started to gag at the thought of that, definitely my worst kissing experience,

and the idea of bad bj thread, lets not get started, i'll overflow the forum on that one, lets just say teeth and tears.



rock n' roll

[slashsaxl]

well talking about first kisses, back at the tender age of 18 in a bush party, i was hitting on the girl i liked, by nights end we started making out, and her breath fuckin stunk, i mean something morning breath was like breathmint to this breath, anyways i couldn't handle it after a few seconds and pulled away, she wanted more, and i actually said 'holy fuck, do you got any gum to chew on', and get what she said 'sorry, i just finished puking', i started to gag at the thought of that, definitely my worst kissing experience,

and the idea of bad bj thread, lets not get started, i'll overflow the forum on that one, lets just say teeth and tears.



rock n' roll

oh ya i meant first kiss with this girl, i wasn't 18 when i kissed my first girl, trust me



rock n' roll

[SLCPUNK]

I said yes and he turned into this slobbering,eating my face,sticking his tongue far enough down my throat to gag me, monster, not at all what i was expecting.....so I bit him,he got the idea do you guys believe he really thought I was playing hard to get and called to ask me out again

Nothing worse than a sloppy, trying to eat your face, gag me, want to push the person away kiss. It's like, who taught you how to kiss? A puppy?!?!?

[Lisa]

I said yes and he turned into this slobbering,eating my face,sticking his tongue far enough down my throat to gag me, monster, not at all what i was expecting.....so I bit him,he got the idea do you guys believe he really thought I was playing hard to get and called to ask me out again

Nothing worse than a sloppy, trying to eat your face, gag me, want to push the person away kiss. It's like, who taught you how to kiss? A puppy?!?!?

so true...a cross between a puppy and a toilet plunger with teeth

[Smoke]

'holy fuck, do you got any gum to chew on', and get what she said 'sorry, i just finished puking', i started to gag at the thought of that, definitely my worst kissing experience.

That is so fucking gross, I would probably die if that happened.  My worst was when my girlfriend kissed me when I wasn't ready for it and right before she did, she took a big bite out of a jalepeno pepper.  I can't stand really spicy stuff, so my eyes started watering and my mouth was on fire.

[Sin Cut]

yeah i can totally relate, i remember when i was dating this chick and she had a tongue ring, i was so excited right before she gave me head cause i thought it would be like this wonderful magical thing

u could feel it but it really wasnt like all the hype, i was bummed out, however this isnt a worst blowjob thread but a worst kiss! my apologies!  

Maybe we should start a worst BJ thread?  

"She got confused and tried to floss her teeth...."

Uh..maybe not.

Wouldn't that be something "I mean it hurt, but I didn't say anything that she wouldn't get upset"

Worst kiss.. probably one of those where the girl is trying to eat you and you just are in a need of some air..

[IHaveNoPatience]

Worst kiss.. probably one of those where the girl is trying to eat you and you just are in a need of some air..

I know what you mean, there was this girl who kissed like she was trying to kill me...hurts like hell!

[Sin Cut]

Worst kiss.. probably one of those where the girl is trying to eat you and you just are in a need of some air..

I know what you mean, there was this girl who kissed like she was trying to kill me...hurts like hell!

Yeah! I mean it's like should I slap her back as "I give up!", it's better than passing out, though  

And without exaggerating I do *think* her tongue was at my vocal chords  

[Dot]

My worst kiss was my first kiss..I was on this bus with my first girlfriend so as you can imagine, I didn?t know how to kiss so I was nervous and it felt weird. She was using her tongue I just didn?t know what to do.

[wonderall]

A kiss in your heart with someone that never happened, is the worse...It came close.  It still remains in my thoughts everyday.  Especially when your in love with this person.

[Mr. Dick Purple]

I was with some friends drinking Ron, BAD IDEA, and I got drunk (as usual) and we were with these girls they were ugly as hell!!, dreadfuly when you get drunk every girl in the world is pretty so I start to make out with the ugliest one next day I woke up and saw this creature (the ugliest girl) and I just ran out of the bed, I have to say not my finest hour 

[Slashly]

My worst kiss was (strangely) not my fault.I went to see a movie with this girl I had met and by the end of the movie, I thought to myself:its time!Aperently the girl thought the same cause when  I saw her she was already going  towards me.So we started and when I tried so slip my tounge, the gitl clsed her mouth as hard as she could.So i though:"okay the girl didnt want to kiss, thats alright."So I started to take my head away and she grabed me by the hard and kissed me again("okay, now she wants to kiss!" I thoguht).I tried again to slip my tounge again, and the same thing hapened.
Thsi repeated about 3 times until I was so pissed off because It felt so fucking acward I told her:"lets go out of here".I think she iddnt liked itoo, because we never saw each other again.




Baby Slash//

[Mattman]

Well, I suppose that for me there are two candidates, although they're not as bad as some of your guys' tales.  Both times though, I think it was pretty much my fault.  I'm not a very good kisser.

The first was at a party a couple years ago when I was 16, and this girl I know who's a friend of mine asked if she could kiss me, "just to see what it was like."  Which sounds flattering here, but there, when we actually did kiss, I was just totally awkward.  I closed my mouth a few times while hers was still open, and so she started licking my lips at times.  And also, I might have had my eyes open, although I don't remember exactly.

The second was worse in terms of the circumstances.  It was this year at a university party.  I was drunk and horny, and I saw this hot chick.  I went up to her and started getting all over her.  We danced drunkenly for a bit, and then I started kissing her.  But I don't really think she was into it.  Also, I used way too much tongue.  Anyway, long story short, her friends ended up carrying her home and I become sort of a pariah at her dorm.  And I guess I kinda deserve it.  For a Drama assignment a little while later, I wrote a scene on sexual harassment to exorcise my demons a little bit (this wasn't the first time I hit on girls way too bluntly while I was drunk).

Anyway, like I said, my main problem is that I'm just not a very good kisser.  Does anybody have some tips on how to improve my game a little?  I'm still pretty clumsy at it.

[nesquick]

Some years ago,? I kissed a girl at 10 am (We had met the night before) just after she smoked. that was horrible. I fired her after 2 hours. She was a nice, cute and hot blond. But she smoked too much for me...so bye bye...

[Lisa]

up until last year(see toilet plunger with teeth) I thought I had the worst kiss.....last Friday night....he bit me...I think he thought it was erotic but it just plain hurt....so that is the new, updated 'worst kiss' for me

[D]

Some years ago,? I kissed a girl at 10 am (We had met the night before) just after she smoked. that was horrible. I fired her after 2 hours. She was a nice, cute and hot blond. But she smoked...so bye bye...

u fired her?

was she an escort or prostitute?

how the hell do u fire a chick?

[nesquick]

Some years ago,? I kissed a girl at 10 am (We had met the night before) just after she smoked. that was horrible. I fired her after 2 hours. She was a nice, cute and hot blond. But she smoked...so bye bye...

u fired her?

was she an escort or prostitute?

how the hell do u fire a chick?

English is not my native language, so when I said "I fired her" I meant I broke with her. Broke is the word.

[Narcissa]

Ok, i'll throw myself in and you are allowed to laugh :

I was 14 and we both had braces on our teeeth. Our mouths met, but as we wanted to part, we realised our braces were stuck and we had to call in for help..

ha ha ha that was amazing.

Also I'd like to see a bigger version of your avatar.

[Sakib]

Some years ago,? I kissed a girl at 10 am (We had met the night before) just after she smoked. that was horrible. I fired her after 2 hours. She was a nice, cute and hot blond. But she smoked...so bye bye...

u fired her?

was she an escort or prostitute?

how the hell do u fire a chick?

funny that. firing a grls.

[usedname]

One that I only wish to have and have not had yet!!

[KeVoRkIaN]

I puked my guts out then kissed a girl that cheated on me - my best kiss - her worst

[MadmanDan]

Worst kiss.....hmmm..let's just say that there was a little mustache involved, and it wasn't mine

[nesquick]

My first kiss was at the age of 5. I was a blond and blue eyed little boy. Then the next one was at the age of...17.
12 years between 2 kisses. I think that's a record It's even longer than between "the spaggetit incident" and "chinese democracy"

[Dust N Rose]

Axl's claiming that record in a year.

I think my first  (15 or 16 I guess) was the worst. I didn't close my eyes  , I think she didn't notice it.

Another one was when I was 17, I think she wanted a french kiss and I didn't open my lips (let that tongue out). I can't else explain why she left me 3 days later 

[Queen of Everything]

My worst kiss was (strangely) not my fault.I went to see a movie with this girl I had met and by the end of the movie, I thought to myself:its time!Aperently the girl thought the same cause when? I saw her she was already going? towards me.So we started and when I tried so slip my tounge, the gitl clsed her mouth as hard as she could.So i though:"okay the girl didnt want to kiss, thats alright."So I started to take my head away and she grabed me by the hard and kissed me again("okay, now she wants to kiss!" I thoguht).I tried again to slip my tounge again, and the same thing hapened.
Thsi repeated about 3 times until I was so pissed off because It felt so fucking acward I told her:"lets go out of here".I think she iddnt liked itoo, because we never saw each other again.




Baby Slash//

Ha ha! Thats funny

Well mine was we were playing spin the bottle, and I was told to pash this guy, and i was like Whatever coz it was just fun, but he went in like REALLY hard and was ALL OVER THE PLACE it was like  bad. Imagine putting like a sea cucumber or sumthing in ur mouth! it was so weird and gross. I pulled away and was like    ew! and he was like what??

[Prometheus]

she bit my nose...... wtf

[D]

she bit my nose...... wtf

hahahahaha is your nose big?  some people find that shit erotic, too bad u couldnt sneeze as she was doing it.


thats awesome kevorkian! puking and then kissing a cheating chick. Nice!

[Hammy]

Ok a few years back id been after this chick for ages and she knew but things were awkward and complicated (can't b arsed explaining) anywayz i had gone out with a bunch of people for her birthday and i was blind drunk on the floor of the club (fuck knows why they had not thrown me out they've thrown me out for less) anywayz my best mate told her now was the best time for her to go in and kiss me now i wasn't even sober enough to get up, i could barely move next thing she's got her tongue down my throat now that's all good but i got so much saliva in her mouth and well that did not go down well, i think i was so drunk i was garglying the stuff around it was probably free flowing (my memories obviously sketchy) so i felt kinda shit at the time and days later when i found out what she thought about it...fuck i felt ten times worse...very bad, i should really drink less