A few songs I wrote!!

[Axl4Life]

Heres a song I wrote, although I don't have a name for it yet, I think it kinda has, a Nirvana, You Know You're Right, like, twist, to it, so someone please reply and give me your honest opinion on this! Thanks!



Darlin when I look into your eyes,
All I see is pain,
I can't stand to see you,
Living like this,

What will I gain from this,
Always seein you like this,
Nothin seems to work my way,
Why I have to pay,
Hey,
Hey,

All I feel is pain,
What else can I gain,
Living like this,
Never gonna miss,

This chance,
To shine,
Hey,
Hey,
Hey,

My time to shine,
My time to shine,
My time to shine,

There is no bars I can't break,
There is no pain I can fake,
This time,
With you,

Cause it's,
My time,
My time to shine,
When I'm gone,
Things will be fine ,

Today is just another day,
Don't listen to what other people say,
If you do,
Theres a price to pay,

Cause It's my time,
I've made it this far,
Don't be afraid,
Be who you are,
Today is just another day,
Everything will be ok,

Cause it's my time,
My time to shine,
When Im gone,
Things will be fine,
Hey,

Your pain has no affect on me,
I suggest you flee from me,
Before something else comes to be,
Hey,
Hey,
Hey,
My time,

It dosen't matter who you are,
It doesen't matter what you say,
Cause it's not gonna 
Bring me down,
Today.

[Axl4Life]

Heres another one i wrote by myself, I think it sucks, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, it's called - Something I Long For.



Something I Long For:


**Bass Intro**

These little things in life,
that don't appeal to me,
May be something I hold on to,
for the rest of my days,

In this world you never know,
what your're gonna get,

But it's,
Something I long for,
Something I want,
Something I need, 
Something I've gotta have,
But I don't know what

Yeah,

These good times I have,
and good times I share,
the times that I hold on to,
for the rest of my life.

I need you by my side,
to guide me through life,
I need someone to hold on to,
especially at night,

Cause you're

Something I long for,
Something I want,
Something I need,
Something I have got to have.

My whole life revolves around you,
but you'll never know,
I would give anything for you,
I would die for you,
I would cry for you,
Stick another nail in my coffin, and im through.

Your smile means so much to me,
Your life means so much to me,
Your friendship means so much to me,
But I don't want that, nnnnnoooooooooo,

I want you by my side,
from the day dawns,
to the sun breaks.
My life means nothin without you.

When you're gone,
I fall to pieces, 
every tttttttttttttiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeee.

When you're gone,
when you're gone,
when you're gone,

I fall to pieces every time,

**Guitar Solo**

Cause you're,

Something I long for,
Something I want,
Something I need,
Something I have got to have..................

And thats you.


Sounds a bit 3 Doors Down/Fall To Pieces, VR I know, but i wasn't trying to steal the lyrics, the words, fall to pieces, just came into my head, at the time i was writing the song, and it just seemed to fit that point that i was trying to get accross in the song. Anyway please tell me what you think, and be honest, don't be afraid to say it sucked, if it sucks, it sucks don't worry.
 

[Axl4Life]

Heres one more, and probably my best work, although I can't take all the credit for this one. My former bandmate helped alot. It's also got a cool title, it's called Dead By Dawn.


Dead By Dawn


There was blood in your pupil,
and tears in your eyes,
I looked in the mirror to ask myself why,
I walked in to a maze of stone,
Every cold turn I took,
I was alone,
There were bones at my feet,
An empty space,
And everytime I looked,
There was her face,
The dark creature chased me through the woods,
Took me back to where it all began,
What a guess,
Bridge broken,
Train arrives,
Heres my token,
And the clouds broke up and the blazin' day light shone,
The good parts over, and you're gonna be dead by dawn,

Dead by dawn
Dead by dawn
Dead by dawwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn
Dead by dawn


**Sorry can't remember the rest of the lyrics right now, and the lead, of the band has the lyrics on a page, but we co-wrote it**

He also made up the main riff for the song that goes like this -

e ---------------------------------------------
b --------------------------------------------
g--------------------------------------------
d-------------------------------------------
a---33333--------------5555555-------
e----------3333300000-----------------

[EFISH]

the first one and third one are really cool! any demo's or recording of these?

[Axl4Life]

the first one and third one are really cool! any demo's or recording of these?

Thanks alot man!

No not yet, but I think I've got an instrumental of another song that me and my bandmate co-wrote, called Metallic Rose.

I'm really proud of the first one because I wrote the whole thing myself! No,one replyed about them back at ROV, thats why I posted them here.

[Mr. Les Paul]

that was pretty nice

YOU SHOULD RECORD THESE!

[Axl4Life]

that was pretty nice

YOU SHOULD RECORD THESE!

Thank you for your kind words, man! Much Appriciated!

[Bumblefeet]

slightly cliched but what isnt these days! if they have a ykyr twist i would love to hear them though!