of all the message boards on the internet, this is one...
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
June 15, 2024, 11:42:38 PM
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Search:
Advanced search
1228061
Posts in
43258
Topics by
9264
Members
Latest Member:
EllaGNR
Here Today... Gone To Hell!
Off Topic
The Jungle
The Joke Thread
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
« previous
next »
Pages:
[
1
]
2
3
...
12
Author
Topic: The Joke Thread (Read 28870 times)
ClintroN
The board won't let me use a longer name than this!
Legend
Karma: -1
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 2423
Gimme some fuckin' Democracy
The Joke Thread
«
on:
October 14, 2004, 05:05:32 AM »
Got any quick jokes anyone....
Q/
What old, wrinkly n' hangs out your underwear
A/
Ya grandmother on washing day
(dont read the next one if you are easily offended...seriously)
Q/
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common
A/
They both had a smash hit with the wall
Logged
www.myspace.com/killmondays
GNR - Brizvegas - AUSTRALIA
June -19th
-20th, 2007
kj_jive
Got troll dolls?
VIP
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 676
Found a head and an arm in the garbage can
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #1 on:
October 14, 2004, 01:07:34 PM »
There's a pirate with a huge steering wheel on his crotch. I said, "Hey pirate, whats with the steering wheel?" and he says, "Arrgh! It's drivin me nuts!"
Logged
"This board isn't supposed to be a fucking smiley festival"-Jarmo 3-19-03
journey
Guest
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #2 on:
October 14, 2004, 02:40:02 PM »
That was funny, kj_jive.
"Musical Chairs"
Q: What did one chair say to another chair?
A: "Here comes another asshole."
Logged
Captain Obvious
Rocker
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 397
I'm a llama!
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #3 on:
October 14, 2004, 04:51:40 PM »
Why do NFL players have red eyes afer sex?
Pepper spray.
Logged
Eazy E
Backstreet's back
Legend
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 4416
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #4 on:
October 14, 2004, 05:44:17 PM »
Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walken
Logged
sandman
Legend
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 3448
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #5 on:
October 14, 2004, 05:52:15 PM »
Quote from: Sky72 on October 14, 2004, 05:44:17 PM
Q:? What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walken
that's freakin hysterical!
monica lewinsky is voting republican cause working with the dems left a bad taste in her mouth.
Logged
"We're from Philly, fuckin' Philly. No one likes us, we don't care."
(Jason Kelce, Philadelphia Eagles, February 8, 2018
Mattgnr
Rocker
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 254
I'm a llama and very proud
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #6 on:
October 14, 2004, 06:06:07 PM »
What do you call a 3 legged donkey
Wonkey
Logged
Evolution
Guest
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #7 on:
October 14, 2004, 07:09:48 PM »
A young man was looking to sell his flat and placed a advert in his local paper. He received a few replies and began showing people round his digs. He ended this particular tour with a viewing of his bedroom.
"There's the bed........skylight..........erm......spacious..........and oh yeah there a built in talking clock" said the seller. His potential customer asked to see it and the man said "yeah sure just come back before dawn."
Sure enough the customer came back and asked again to see this mysterious clock.
The man hushed the customer and pulled out a baseball bat. He swung and knocked his bedroom wall hard 3 times in quick succesion.
Then from next door a angry voice shouted "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?? ITS HALF THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!!" ......
Logged
LeftToDecay
VIP
Karma: -1
Offline
Posts: 1153
i'd love to pull the wires from the wall
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #8 on:
October 14, 2004, 07:13:21 PM »
Dead baby jokes!
Some of them are hillarious!..if you are a sick fuckhead able to laugh at dead babies, that is.
http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/dbj_006.htm
This is miles away from being a quick joke but it's fun so what the hell:
http://maddox.xmission.com/beat.html
«
Last Edit: October 14, 2004, 07:27:16 PM by LeftToDecay
»
Logged
this is what you should fear
you are what you should fear
D
Deliverance Banjo Player
Legend
Karma: -5
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 22289
I am Back!!!!!!
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #9 on:
October 14, 2004, 08:22:54 PM »
SLC Punk and Gunnerdownunder were fucking in the shower when the phone rang.
Gunnerdownunder gets out of the shower to answer the phone. As he is getting out he tells SLC, "you better not cum till i get back". SLC says "i wont, i wont, hurry up!"
gunnerdownunder answers the phone and comes back to the bathroom, there is cum all over the shower walls, it is just covered!
gunnerdownunder screams "SLC, i told u not to cum till i got back"!!!!!!!!!!!!
SLC says? "I didnt, I farted!"
call me gay again SLC!
Logged
Who Says You Can't Go Home to HTGTH?
Chris Misfit
Guest
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #10 on:
October 14, 2004, 08:27:13 PM »
Ah man, you caught me before I even posted!
Logged
D
Deliverance Banjo Player
Legend
Karma: -5
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 22289
I am Back!!!!!!
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #11 on:
October 14, 2004, 08:41:05 PM »
Quote from: C on October 14, 2004, 08:27:13 PM
Ah man, you caught me before I even posted!
i had to take a double take!!!!! lol! i thought mycomputer was screwed up or something when i saw your initial signature!
Logged
Who Says You Can't Go Home to HTGTH?
AdZ
It's LiberAdZe, bitch!
HTGTH Crew
Legend
Karma: 3
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 5332
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #12 on:
October 14, 2004, 08:41:41 PM »
What do you call a rude boy in a suit?
Guilty.
Okay, so noone but the brits will get that.
Logged
ClintroN
The board won't let me use a longer name than this!
Legend
Karma: -1
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 2423
Gimme some fuckin' Democracy
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #13 on:
October 15, 2004, 12:33:17 AM »
(sic)
A fella was fucking a prostitute at the local whore house when all of a sudden his root started foaming at the mouth,
he ran down to the front desk n' said "DO SOMETHING, MY ROOTS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!!!"
The front desk man turned around n' yell'd out "HEY BOB, PHONE THE MORGUE AND GET ANOTHER STIFF OVER HERE THIS BASTARD'S FULL!!!!!"
Logged
www.myspace.com/killmondays
GNR - Brizvegas - AUSTRALIA
June -19th
-20th, 2007
matt88
Riding The Nightrain
Legend
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 2195
Slash is the King
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #14 on:
October 15, 2004, 05:59:58 AM »
A Chinaman an Italian and an Indian were floating on a raft in the Indian Ocean.
A shark comes and tips the raft over and eats the Chinaman and the Italian.
As the shark goes to swim away the Indian says to the shark "Hey how come u didn't eat me"?
The Shark responds "Cos i had Indian last week and my assholes still burning"
Logged
"I've been draggin my heels with a bitch called hope let the undercurrent drag me along"
sandman
Legend
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 3448
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #15 on:
October 15, 2004, 11:07:47 AM »
john kerry walks into a bar.....bartender says, "why the long face?"
Logged
"We're from Philly, fuckin' Philly. No one likes us, we don't care."
(Jason Kelce, Philadelphia Eagles, February 8, 2018
Jaded
Rocker
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 345
Going 'straight' will get you nowhere
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #16 on:
October 15, 2004, 04:02:16 PM »
THIS ONE IS HILARIOUS!!!!
There once lived a sex-obsessed couple who did it practically whenever possible, the woman was particularly obsessed... and one day her partner had to go away with work for a year or so... The woman knew she just could not live without well, you know, so she decided that she would just had to pleasure herself, so the minute he left she was down to the nearest adult shop. She wanted something different, she wanted something knew, she wanted something no other woman had, something that could bring her unimaginable pleasure without much work... and so she told this to the shop assistant.
"I think i have JUST the thing...." the shop assistant replied as she knelt down to get something from under the counter... and up she came with an old-looking wooden dusty box. She wiped the dust from the top and opened the lock. She lifted the lid and inside laying upon silk was.... JUST AN AVERAGE LOOKING DILDO.
"What?" said the sex-obsessed woman, "i have a dozen of them at home!"
"No!" the assistant replied, "This is different to any other sex-toy, this is a voodoo penis. Just watch.... VOODOO PENIS, THE DOOR!" and with that the dildo left the box and flew over to the door and moved back and forth back and forth in the air. "VOODOO PENIS, THE BOX!!!" and with that it was back in the box.
"Wow!" the sex-obsessed woman replied! "That's amazing, i'll take it!!!"
"Ok $150 please, and remember to make it stop all you have to do is remember to say is 'VOODOO PENIS HALT!'"
But she was so excited that she wasn't really paying any attention at all...
She ran all the way home, burst into her bedroom, ripped her clothes off, layed on her bed and screamed with excitement..... "VOODOO PENIS, MY CROTCH!!!" and there she lay for 5 days having multiple orgasms, when suddenly if came to her that perhaps she should get something to drink or eat... but how to make it stop?
"VOODOO PENIS CEASE!!!!" "VOODOO PENIS STOP!!!" but it was no use... she just couldn't remember the words! So she jumped striaght into her car and was heading for the hospital... she tried her best to keep control of the car but it was kinda hard to drive while having multiple-orgasms so she ended up crashing... Luckily there were two policemen nnearby who came to see how she was...
"And why may i ask are you naked?" asked the first policeman, so she explained the story of the voodoo penis...
"Voodoo penis???" replied the second police officer, "MY ARSE!!!"...........................
Logged
It's evolution, baby!
Lisa
You talkin' to me?
Legend
Karma: 0
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 1815
Here Today..Gone To The syndicate
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #17 on:
October 16, 2004, 10:08:02 PM »
Lesbian dinosaurs? Lickalotapuss
Homosexual dinosaurs? Megasoreass
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a rooster? a cock that stays up all night
Logged
http://www.thegnrsyndicate.com/
GypsySoul
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me
Legend
Karma: 1
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 12248
SLAM DUNK!!!
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #18 on:
October 18, 2004, 12:37:54 PM »
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Logged
God chose those whom the world considers absurd to shame the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27)
nesquick
\m/
Banned
Legend
Karma: -3
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 3371
Richard Fortus, the phenomenon
Re: The Joke Thread
«
Reply #19 on:
October 19, 2004, 12:11:18 PM »
la vache kerry
(only for french)
Logged
Here today... waiting for Chinese Democracy
Pages:
[
1
]
2
3
...
12
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Guns N' Roses
-----------------------------
=> Guns N' Roses
=> GNN - GN'R News Network
=> Dead Horse
=> GN'R On Tour!
===> 2020 - 2022 Tours
===> Not In This Lifetime 2016-2019
===> World Tour 2009-14
===> Past tours
===> Europe 2006
===> North America 2006
===> World Tour 2007
-----------------------------
The Perils Of Rock N' Roll Decadence
-----------------------------
=> Solo & side projects + Ex-members
===> Duff, Slash & Velvet Revolver
=====> Spectacle - VR on tour
-----------------------------
Wake up, it's time to play!
-----------------------------
=> Nice Boys Don't Play Rock And Roll
=> Appetite For Collection
=> BUY Product
-----------------------------
Off Topic
-----------------------------
=> The Jungle
=> Bad Obsession
=> Fun N' Games
-----------------------------
Administrative
-----------------------------
=> Administrative, Feedback & Help
Loading...