Your ideal man/ woman

[GeraldFord]

Just someone that will love me and accept me for the person that I am.

[GNRreunioneventually]

Just someone that will love me and accept me for the person that I am.

and some one that you can bury your face in for 6 hours right?

[GeraldFord]

Yes, a nice, round soft ass...not massive, butt big.

[Bill 213]

My ideal woman is a very strong and independant woman who isn't afraid to stand up and bust her ass for a living just like myself.  I don't like women who think the man is supposed to do everything while she sits home on her ass eating twinkies and bon bons watching Oprah (thank you Peg Bundy!).  I also like a woman that is funny and easy going and not afraid to relax and just be a good friend at times.  Women that are too clingy and always want to cuddle and hold hands and shit can be annoying.  I also like a woman with natural beauty...if you have to paint yourself up like Bozo the clown to be presentable..ack. 

[SLCPUNK]

He has to be taller than i am and not overly skinny, so i can feel protected in his arms.
That is, he should be demonstrative enough to actually TAKE ME IN HIS ARMS..

He has to have an overall good personal hygiene because a lot of men don't, so change of underpants every day, teeth brushed at LEAST once a day and a deo that doesn't stinck of cheap.
He also has to know how to use perfume, because the " loads of it from up close" makes me want to puke.

Now i am smoking again, preferable a smoker or a tolerant non smoker and if a smoker, obey some rules so my son isn't passive smoking to his early death.

He has to be extravert in the way he communicates with others, and with me. A communicator. Done enough years trying to get an info as simple as " did you have lunch at work today".

He should be clever enough to realise i have an IQ of a 150 and that i know when people bullshit me and when men think they are clever and lie, i simply loose my respect for them and with respect, of course, my love. Goes hand in hand in my books.

I do not believe in open relationships. IN theory, i do.
In practise, it is dangerous, because most men forget or don't want to use condoms with a partner.
I don't want std's or aids or hepathitis.
I have one life and refuse to live it in hell because of a zipper that was crying " open me open me" every bloody 5 mn !

As above, cheating is off. I will never trust anyone with my life.
Too many illnesses around..

I want a man who reads a lot and a lot of everything, serious and not so serious so we have things to talk about. A man interested in learning.
I left school at 15, my knowledge isn't quite academic, i learnt along the way and in books.
So a man who has had a life rich of many experiences as well, because men who walked a straight narrow road do not understand me nor do i understand them.

I want capable to handle me. I am difficult. I have phobias, i believe in ghosts and paranormal, i sometimes get in touch with the dead, i am a bit or even a lot weird in some aspects.
This man should never doubt this side of me, nor be scared of it nor laugh at me for it or look down on me or try to use me.

I don't like to get up early. Early birds pass my way. It's a no.

I want a man who loves food just as much as i do.

I kind of yoyo with my weight and at times of my life, i can be very slim, and at others, fatter. I will NOT do something for anyone but me.

I will not change for anyone ever anymore. The special someone must understand that.

I want a man capable to understand i am a mix of a lot of culture and social backgrounds and never look down on me for being too posh or too poor depending which side of the family we're talking about.

I want a man who will not think of himself as my saviour. Such a man would annoy me quickly and be booted just as quick.

I want a man i can laugh with. I have had a difficult life. It's my daily life has to be boring and annoying and too serious, it's a no, i am all this very well by myself.

I want a man who will choose ME before family. I am either his family, or i am nothing. If i get on with his, perfect, if i don't, it's me otherwise, bye bye. i've just done 7 years of hell. I learnt.

I want a man who doesn't take drugs ( had one), who moderately drinks or not at all ( mother alcoholic), who does a little sport or a lot ( i'd enjoy someone i can roller blade with or bicycle with or even do cardio with).

I want a man who enjoys sex for the simple healthy thing it is.

I want a man who isn't sexually deviant, i had that, i now spot it easily, not only will i dump the man but i am capable to report him to the police.

I want a man capable to be a hero for my son. Not just a dad, but a bloody hero.
I know some men are good, only, there are very few of them.

Also, i now spot men who prefer my kid to me, so beware, because i practised the kick in the balls so not worth trying to seduce the mother to get the kid, it would be like practising their own death.

I think that after the past 7 years, i will have a huge problem trusting a man, especially around my son.

Single mothers are targeted by sickos.

In a few months, i will, maybe, tell a tale, once all is over and done with for good, legally too.

And hell i never want to see hear or live again.

I don't think anyone is capable to bring me happiness.

Men nowadays seem bi, gay, sexually violent and obsessed, into all sorts of yucks, into coke, alcohol, in france they are manipulative and abusive, machos, etc etc...

My mother told me today " just get yourself a penis when you need one and let them live alone"...

It's nice to fantasize and all, but really, i am not into mothering a man, or nursing, i am pretty selfish and can't be bothered...

I was telling a neighbour the other day of the heaven it must be to have a man who is gone half the year so he isn't in your legs annoying you on a daily basis..and she said " ooh, already there and you're half our age lol"...

But yeah, that's how i feel, i couldn't stand having a man for myself all year around, he would really piss me off.

The every day thing would just end up in arguments because i was always affraid to say to a man" just go away, i want you out so i can breathe and be by myself"...

You can't do that when you live with someone, can you ?

********************************************
Right, your turns.

Prepare to be alone most of your life, or unhappy with your mate.

[Sin Cut]

Jessica Alba.

[Jessica]

well, i may be unhappy, but it won't be worse, because a lot of the above i accepted in men before and i didn't like it and will not accept it any more.

So if i never find, i don't mind, to be honest, i am not looking.

Why did i post this ? out of curiosity, just to see what others look for in all honesty.

I am not looking at finding someone in the gnr community.

As for having an IQ and smoking, i don't see the link, i started smoking at 10 years old and both my experience and conscience were not develloped enough to rationalize it. Once the addiction has settled in, it's easier to crap talk than give up. Although i did give up twice already. Stress gets me and like every one of us, i have a way of dealing with it. Mine isnt healthy, so what ?

As for compromise, since someone mentionned an interesting word, well, compromise is always something i did.

As my grandfather says, the more you HAVE to compromise in a relationship, the less right the person is for you.

Now i am that close to 32, i can say i have lived WITH men since i was 15. I had long relationships.

So i learnt along the way and this list was made out of my very own experience and out of what i cannot bear any more.

To each their own.

Actually, sterling mentionned i will always be disappointed ?

I could be if i had added a physique and an age, a job type and an income type, but i haven't. Because i couldn't care less.

[RJ1221]

you're 31 years old? 

i thought you were 17ish.....

[Mal Brossard]

Boobs.

Done deal.

[estrangedpaul]

He has to be taller than i am and not overly skinny.
I kind of yoyo with my weight and at times of my life, i can be very slim, and at others, fatter. I will NOT do something for anyone but me.

So his physical appearance is important, but later on you say he should accept your weight regardless of whether you're fat or skinny. Totally hypocritical.

I want capable to handle me. I am difficult. I have phobias, i believe in ghosts and paranormal, i sometimes get in touch with the dead, i am a bit or even a lot weird in some aspects.
This man should never doubt this side of me, nor be scared of it nor laugh at me for it or look down on me or try to use me.

If your weird yourself, why can't you accept a man who might be considered weird. This post doesn't suggest you would.

I want a man i can laugh with. I have had a difficult life. It's my daily life has to be boring and annoying and too serious, it's a no, i am all this very well by myself.

So you want a man who is fun to be around but then you say you're not fun to be around yourself. Why do you think you might attract the wrong kinda guy? Why would these fun guys be attracted to you if you're that depressed. Sounds like you need to work on yourself before judging others.

I want a man who enjoys sex for the simple healthy thing it is.

That shouldn't be a problem.

I think that after the past 7 years, i will have a huge problem trusting a man, especially around my son.

Oh come on, i know the last seven years have been weird, but Axl never actually gave a fixed release date for CD in that time. Seems a bit unfair to lose your trust in men because of the CD saga.

Single mothers are targeted by sickos.

Your definition of a sicko is probably someone who doesn't meet all your criteria for a man....i don't think its anything to do with your personal circumstances that you can't find a man you like.

It's nice to fantasize and all, but really, i am not into mothering a man, or nursing, i am pretty selfish and can't be bothered...

You clearly want someone who is completely unselfish even though you admit your selfish yourself...good luck with that.

I want a man who will choose ME before family. I am either his family, or i am nothing.

I was telling a neighbour the other day of the heaven it must be to have a man who is gone half the year so he isn't in your legs annoying you on a daily basis..and she said " ooh, already there and you're half our age lol"...

But yeah, that's how i feel, i couldn't stand having a man for myself all year around, he would really piss me off.

So you want him to choose you before his family, but you don't want him to be around all year...sounds unfair.

********************************************

Your post summarises most women's views on relationship that I've been with and why they ended. Women want you to put up and accept all their faults but are unwilling to put up with the guy's imperfections...so the woman can put on weight and the guy must understand, but if the guy puts on weight, he must again understand it makes her unhappy.

[SLCPUNK]

Your post summarises most women's views on relationship that I've been with and why they ended. Women want you to put up and accept all their faults but are unwilling to put up with the guy's imperfections...so the woman can put on weight and the guy must understand, but if the guy puts on weight, he must again understand it makes her unhappy.

I think it summarizes most immature women's views, but not all. I've seen plenty of men have the same outlook towards women. I like you breakdown of the post though.

Life is too short for bullshit like this, way too short.

[GeorgeSteele]

My knee-jerk reaction was to join the fun and bust Jessica's chops but the truth is that I admire her for knowing herself so well. ?And I personally don't believe that guys aren't picky. ?Anyone that will accept you for who you are? ?Anyone? ?If Rosie O'Donnell were to accept me for who I was, you know what, thanks but no thanks.

[Annie]

Axl Rose is my ideal man!

[Lisa]

someone that will put up with me and my mouth

[Jessica]

So his physical appearance is important, but later on you say he should accept your weight regardless of whether you're fat or skinny. Totally hypocritical.

Taller and normal built, that leaves endless possibilities, it's not a criteria that is far stretched. And yes, he should accept me as i am, because i accepted very fat and very skinny men, who, themselves, did not accept it if i put 10 pounds on. The most important part of the sentence was a man who understands i can, at times, be bigger. This is linked to emotionnal issues and when i feel better, i loose weight.

Basically, if a man wants me to be understanding with him, he has to be with me. Not one way streets anymore

If your weird yourself, why can't you accept a man who might be considered weird. This post doesn't suggest you would

I sure would. Someone out of the norm isn't a problem, as long as it isn't one for us

So you want a man who is fun to be around but then you say you're not fun to be around yourself. Why do you think you might attract the wrong kinda guy? Why would these fun guys be attracted to you if you're that depressed. Sounds like you need to work on yourself before judging others.

If you look at couples, you never get two funnies together or two depressed together. Opposite attracts and feed on one another. Your comment was a bit immature.

Your definition of a sicko is probably someone who doesn't meet all your criteria for a man....i don't think its anything to do with your personal circumstances that you can't find a man you like.

I know exactly what a sicko is, and I'll be ultra picky for who will be around my son. I think single mothers could understand this part better.

You clearly want someone who is completely unselfish even though you admit your selfish yourself...good luck with that.

I am normally selfish. I am not a nurse, i am not a cleaner, i am not a cook, i am not a housekeeper, i am not paid to do it, i am not a homeslave, i do it if i want to, if i don't want to, i don't HAVE to. Men have arms and legs too. It is caring FOR me and not after an adult person who can take care of himself. All men i lived with had mothers and yet needed a woman wiping their bum like their mom. Not me. I am someone independant who can wipe his own. someone ADULT.

So you want him to choose you before his family, but you don't want him to be around all year...sounds unfair.

Who said life was fair ? There are dozens of jobs that take men away for some time..or take me away..not everyone is made for the day to day shit. I find you very intolerant of other people's differences.

I think you misunderstand women. Having criterias is a part of getting older and not accepting people just because they came your way, but getting older is about making choices and not feeling guilty about it, not feeling guided by people's ideas or views on our own life, refusing to settle for what makes one unhappy and going forward. Everyone has flaws. I accept flaws. But what i talked about isn't flaws, to me, it is worse. Not liveable.

[Jessica]

My knee-jerk reaction was to join the fun and bust Jessica's chops but the truth is that I admire her for knowing herself so well. ?And I personally don't believe that guys aren't picky. ?Anyone that will accept you for who you are? ?Anyone? ?If Rosie O'Donnell were to accept me for who I was, you know what, thanks but no thanks.

No one accepts you for who you are, not until you are much older. I will not change anyone and no one will change me, simply because it is virtually impossible to change.

This is why i am narrowing the qualities i look for in someone, so that i come as close as i can, one day, to someone who can bring me what i need. And reverse.

A few months back, the parental shrink ( =judge's order to see one for 6 months, over now) told me that i never made a choice in terms of love, i had just accepted what had come my way and that i had met wrong people because i wans'(t picky enough, because i had felt it was bad to ask what i needed.

I do now. For my sake, and for my son's sake.

[Jessica]

Actually, sterling mentionned i will always be disappointed ?

I could be if i had added a physique and an age, a job type and an income type, but i haven't. Because i couldn't care less.

I think you missed my point.? You won't be disappointed because your standards are too high.? What I was saying is that you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.? Meaning, you want to be disappointed.? Thus proving that all men are evil and you are better off alone.? Also, reaffirming your identity as the victim.?

Sterling, read below, i have been told by a peer of yours that my standards were not high enough..don't you love it when profressionals disagree ? 

[GeorgeSteele]

My knee-jerk reaction was to join the fun and bust Jessica's chops but the truth is that I admire her for knowing herself so well. ?And I personally don't believe that guys aren't picky. ?Anyone that will accept you for who you are? ?Anyone? ?If Rosie O'Donnell were to accept me for who I was, you know what, thanks but no thanks.

No one accepts you for who you are, not until you are much older. I will not change anyone and no one will change me, simply because it is virtually impossible to change.

This is why i am narrowing the qualities i look for in someone, so that i come as close as i can, one day, to someone who can bring me what i need. And reverse.

A few months back, the parental shrink ( =judge's order to see one for 6 months, over now) told me that i never made a choice in terms of love, i had just accepted what had come my way and that i had met wrong people because i wans'(t picky enough, because i had felt it was bad to ask what i needed.

I do now. For my sake, and for my son's sake.

Whether or not it's possible, my point on acceptance was that it's not enough to simply be accepted, you want to be accepted by the right person.? How to define that right person is the complicated part.

Also, IMO your standards were not that picky.? Height/physique minimum, not a slob, communicates important thoughts to you, not a bullshitter, no cheating, has stuff to talk about with you, won't laugh in your face when you discuss ghosts, lets you sleep late, likes food, tolerates 10-pound weight fluctuations and cultural differences, no God complex, likes to laugh and fuck, loyal, and not a pedophile.? Perhaps the not being around you for 6 months was unusual, but I suspect that after spending some time with you, he'll be OK with that (I kid, I kid).? Most of those seemed more like basic prerequisites to me where even if you met a guy with all those requirements, you still might find that you're just not that into him.

[RJ1221]

i dont care what anyone says, physical appearance is the most important thing to everyone when it comes to choosing a partner

whats the first thing that attracts you to someone? their physical appearance, THAN you go from there. you don't look at someone for the first time without even knowing them and say to yourself "wow! she/he has a great personality!"

[SLCPUNK]

I think a great personality can trump less than flawless looks and a nasty attitude can make a beauty queen lose her appeal quick.