Let's get at it, 2024

[Muerto]

t's good to know that your vision has improved considerably and you enjoy certain things again. I felt that joy when I recovered from the endoscopic endonasal approach, I recovered part of my peripheral vision and it was a great relief to be able to carry out daily activities with ease again. After a year I am still yet to decide whether to have the same surgery or radiotherapy with gamma rays, as long as I can afford it through medical insurance. 

[cineater]

Normally I go with go cheap and just make do but there are things where I do pay the cost when it counts.  Somehow the money shows up to cover it.

I'm reading the Barbra Streisand book.  She needed to make a decision between two things and was looking for a sign.   She asked a guy named Brugh Joy (see the word joy there) what she should do.  He told her to ask for the answer in a dream.  She did and got a sign that helped her make a decision.  Give that a try.  I did and I'll tell you more about it after you try.

[cineater]

I'm not a Pamela Anderson fan but I'm worried about this woman.  Ran across another article on her.  She's talking about not wearing makeup.  She showed up at Paris fashion week in September and didn't wear makeup.  Says she's not trying to make a statement just be more simple and natural.  She's glad all the press about it said something positive for women.  I'm pretty sure that is not how the press presented it.  And if I'm hearing about it, she has to be talking a lot about it.  And she's doing fashions shoots this way.  She does not look happy, looks like she is in pain.  Girl what is going on with you, you seem so lost.

[cineater]

I'm looking at pictures of my grandson.  He wakes up everyday excited to be here.  When do you lose that and your day just becomes something to get through?  You hope for some good times but most of it is just determination to do something that doesn't really make you happy.  Striving for something more, taking the joy out of today.

[cineater]

PINBALL!    Brian is starting league again.  Oh thank god, I so miss that.  Think I will be any better with my new eyes?  I miss those people too and I miss the bar.  I know the owner was remodeling the place.  I hope not.  It was such a nice little corner bar.  Didn't make any money though.

[cineater]

WTF?  Marsha is kind of manic and being sharp and short with people.  DJ for some reason is insisting I'm in denial for not accepting the fact Marsha is going to die.  "She's stage 4 and the doctor just won't tell her."     And then Susan is setting up hospice for her mother.  I'm sorry girls but if you haven't noticed I'm barely present.   Probably a good thing they haven't noticed.     The first two just want somebody to get a rise out of and I'm probably just disappointing them but, then again, they have themselves so worked up they aren't noticing I'm not playing.  Susan, here for you girl, but she's in her own world.  I'm trying to remember to check in with her.  In the meantime, stuff is needing to get done.  I'm doing it, not out ahead of it like normal.  I wanted to say something to somebody, mostly just WTF, but I suddenly realized the 3 people I tell stuff like this too, I don't want to tell.  Just throw it out there on the net and hope typing it out does the trick so, you know, WTF.

[cineater]

Apparently Sunday was WTF day for my daughter as well.  Fortunately I had planned on not being present for that.  So, I'm done with other people ruffling my feathers.  They are going to do it but I'm not going to mention it.   

The eye doctor said I'm healed and have perfect vision in my new eye.  The headaches and dry eyes will go away after the second surgery.

[cineater]

Geez, her mother passed away basically in her arms.  She thought she had lost consciousness but she had died by the time the paramedics got there.  She was glad I came over.   Told me that last night she had a strong feeling of her dad's prescience in the house.  And right before I left she said something about her mother had been gone 5 hours now.  Axl was singing KOHD, live, how often do you here live GNR songs on the radio when I got in the car, "a little reggae".  Take your comfort where you find it is all I have to say about that.

Anyway, time I pull up and fly this bird.  I was hoping for a few more weeks.

[cineater]

Seriously, I got a bee sting right under my eye that gets cataract surgery next week.     There wasn't even any bees out and about.  I'm thinking it came out of the ground where I was weeding.

And now I can't park the car in the garage worth a shit.  Because the other eye isn't done, I'm having depth perception issues in my peripheral vision.  At night, I feel like I need my sunglasses on because the computer is so bright. 

[cineater]

Tornado warning this morning and this afternoon.  We got golf ball size hail with the last one.  I probably have to get a new roof.  Fortunately the car was in the garage.  Neighbor's have crack windshields and dented hoods.  Our national radar is being serviced this week so they are picking up our area from the other side of the state.

The right side of my face was so swollen this morning I went to urgent care.  They gave me antibiotics but not steroids because of the upcoming surgery.  The swelling hasn't went down much.  I hope this clears up by Monday.

The greenhouse is fine but Marsha's car has dings.  She was there closing the windows when the hail hit.  

Mike is thinking they may total his car for body damage.  He's already ran it by the shop and basically it is so bad the body would have to be replaced.

[cineater]

It's a mess out there.  Assessors who have already been out here say roofs for everyone.  My siding is okay but several people have damage.  Had trouble driving through the neighborhood with all the insurance and contractors out making assessments.  Not that I wanted to fuck with it but I was going to be due for a new roof in a couple of years anyway.  The last time I got a roof, the insurance paid for it.

[cineater]

Wow life can change in a heartbeat.  Susan's mom died.  Chris' landlord just let him know she's selling out.  His wife died not too long ago and his son just moved out.  He's got to pack up and go somewhere.  Old man with health issues plus he just sold his van thinking he wouldn't need it to haul stuff any more.

I'm feeling pretty lucky with the cataract surgery and if the insurance covers the roof, I basically spend the roof money for the surgery.  I'm not heading for the hole so to speak.

But, really, I don't think we value things staying the same enough.

[cineater]

Susan's mom's funeral is today.  We went out to dinner Saturday night.  I noticed Susan had cleaned herself up and was even wearing makeup.  It's been a stressful couple of years for her taking care of two aging parents.  She's got a lot of work ahead of her to settle the estate but instead of worrying about it, she can work it.  She's looking forward to getting back out in the world.  Me too, lets go do some shit.  But for today, she doesn't want to be there.  Go back to bed and wake up to her mother even if it was a lot of work.

Is it bad I'm looking forward to going gambling with my sister tonight?  I am not a good gambler.    They get all my money.  I don't give them enough so if I don't get lucky right off the bat, they take it all.  I do get a free meal out of it so I just look at it as paying for dinner.

I'm looking forward to the eye surgery on Tuesday.  Probably more for being drugged rather then the work being done.  Yeah that's bad but it gets me in there, it's legal and it's the last time until another surgery.  Surgery scares me enough I'm not going to use it for drug seeking but if you have to have surgery, there's a side benefit.  No cosmetic stuff for me. 

[cineater]

My grandson's pony is in Indiana!  I ordered this from China from what appeared to be too good to be true but took a shot for $30.  Took them a month to ship it, then it hung around in China, hit the US and went to the post office for delivery.  Who knows when you'll get your package from them.  This pony is way to old for my grandson.  No telling how long it's going to be hanging out at my place before he gets it.  I'm just anxious to see if what I ordered is what I'm getting.  No clue where I'm going to store it.  The pony is like Saint Bernard size.   

[cineater]

My glasses no longer work.  Everything is blurry with them on.  The operated on eye is still blurry so now I can't see to read but that will clear up in a day or two.  I really wish they had given me a pirate's patch.  The world is really bright!

[cineater]

Very strange to be able to see without glasses.  My eyes are still swollen so it hurts to have them trying to look too long but it's amazing I have my vision back.  And I'm seeing shit I couldn't see even with glasses.  I am so going to the zoo for the lanterns!

Somehow the pony left Indiana, went through Illinois, passed by me in Missouri and is now out for delivery in the middle of nowhere in Kansas.  What happen there?

[cineater]

Wow, I never thought of that.  Susan text me to see if I would be her emergency contact at work.  She only has a sister in Chicago she's not that close to.  But my sister, who lives with my mother brought up she didn't no what she was going to do when mom died.  She has no husband and no kids.  I could live with her if we have to.  Not in my place though, it's too small.  I guess getting older I shouldn't live alone.  I like my place and my daughter wants it for rental property when I go so I don't want to sell it.  No way am I renting to Susan or my son.  They are both slobs.  I could rent it to my ex if he ever moves back here.  He's my ex but he's not a slob and would keep it up.  I guess my sister and I could buy a bigger place together if we have to.  Not an option high on my list but it would solve some problems.  Wonder if she was feeling me out to live together?

[cineater]

When the hail storm first happen, I talked to the guy who owns the other side of the duplex.  Agreed I would call my roofer which I did.  Told the neighbor the date and the time the roofer was coming out.  My neighbor was insistent we use the same roofer, of course, we share a roof.  Today, the neighbor tells me he had a guy come out and he's going with him.  Didn't even tell me so I could have the guy look at my side of the roof.  WTF?

[cineater]

The concert attack in Russia is concerning.  Hopefully that is not a thing.  Last year was my final attempt at seeing some concerts.  I'm not appreciating the cost of tickets, the crowds and the lousy seats.

[cineater]

Came to an understanding with Mike.  Had him send me a picture of the business card of his roofer.  Had to start the conversation by texting because I didn't want to get into a fight.  He didn't check the guy out.  My guy has no court records, his does in two counties.  They were awhile ago and nothing too concerning.  His roofer checks out okay but we are still going to have my guy come out and give an estimate.  Mike doesn't know if he has replacement value on his insurance.  He may have to pay for most of his roof so he's going to need some estimates before he can pick somebody.  I just need a guy who will take money directly from the insurance company and a check for my deductible.  I'm wondering how long it's going to take to replace the roof.  There's lots of homes needing them.

I see Russia is revving up the Ukraine and west hate with the concert attack.  I thought ISIS was old news.  When's the last time they did something?  What is their beef with Russia?  I was always under the impression it was hard to get into Russia.  Putin wouldn't be crazy enough to stage that concert attack so he could justify revving up the war with Ukraine, trying to bring it to a close before Trump gets in office?  I'm looking for that kind of activity but never dreamed he would kill his own people, that's crazy.