Parenting

[Albert S Miller]

Some of us on this board are parents, some are soon to be, regardless I just thought I would start this for all of us who share in this role in regards to raising children.  Sorry it won't be a topic for all, but anyone is obviously free to post and comment.

[GeorgeSteele]

As a father of 2 young daughters, whose favorite song that I introduced them to is named 'Prostitute', I'm happy to serve as a role model on what not to do.

[Albert S Miller]

One thing is for sure there is no manual on the subject of parenting, I do believe most have some kind of mindset in place, or will work off of their own upbringing, and their own childhood experience, if indeed they were comfortable with those times. Myself I used a little of everything and then some.

As I have mentioned many times, I have two girls almost raised.  One is 17 and a junior in high school, and the other is 18 and is working towards her associates degree in business at the moment.  My girls were born exactly one year to the day apart, so obviously share the same birthday, I believe they call this Irish Twins.

I would like to add, I am very proud of my girls and have had seemingly no trouble raising them in a proper fashion, they are well behaved, mannerly, intelligent, beautiful cuz mom says they are, and like most parents I still like to boast about them  

[ppbebe]

As a father of 2 young daughters, whose favorite song that I introduced them to is named 'Prostitute', I'm happy to serve as a role model on what not to do.

I always feel some very fatherly tone in the song. 

[kmorgan]

I am a mother as well, and I would like to say that even though my kids drive me insane, they make me insanely happy as well.   I'm a very lucky woman.  However, my son has hit adolescence, girlfriend, smart mouth, and all.  I deal with teenagers everyday, so I actually thought I'd be able to deal with this, but he's making me nuts!!

[Bandita]

I am a "pending Mom" of a baby boy coming in August so any and all advice is appreciated!

[Albert S Miller]

I am a "pending Mom" of a baby boy coming in August so any and all advice is appreciated!

I've been waiting for you to join in mommy to be, I actually started this thread with you in mind and jdog's depression thread that was kind of turning into some parenting chat as well, thought it would be nice to not mix depression and parenting topics up. Just my thought of course

[Bandita]

Yes, well-

I am a big proponent of literacy.

I find it very embarrassing that children these days cannot spell and don't really seem to care. 

What is even worse to me is that kids like this can graduate because no one wants to put in the time or the effort to help them.

My own parents were by no means perfect but my Mom was all over my early education and I could read some by the time I was two years old.  I will make sure that I do this for my son as well since it's obvious to me that schools seem to be failing at this these days.

[SLCPUNK]

I'm off restriction already as my yute is (supposedly) self sufficient. Time to party.

[Bandita]

Oh, that's another thing.

I have a girlfriend who wrote a blog today about her teenage son.

He is about to graduate from High School and refuses to fill out his college applications and scholarship paperwork.  He hasn't even done his essay.

She wants to do it for him.  Not the essay part but she is trying to bargain with him by saying if he does the essay that she will do all the other paperwork.

I personally am dead set against it.  I think it is a terrible idea to show him that if he just doesn't bother that someone will come along and clean it up for him.

I am an only child.  I was totally spoiled and the part my parents messed up on was cleaning up ALL my messes.  I didn't learn a damn thing from it besides that if I messed up that someone was going to come in and fix it.

I learned a harder lesson a few years later when we were pretty much bolted into financial despair and there were no more magic fairies to clean up all my disasters and bad decisions.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

[SLCPUNK]

Big mistake I think. Coddle the child like that and you'll soon have a 28 yr old living in your basement posting on GnR message boards all day.  Even worse they could grow up to be a miserable 48 year old with about twenty online aliases who makes pseudo threats with pretend lawyers...but I digress.

I had gone real easy on my yute and told her I was willing to accept light chores and good grades as a form of rent. She slacked over and over on the chores so now I charge her the water bill. If she doesn't pay me that she can hit the road. I will not accommodate laziness or contribute to a sense of entitlement. Work hard or gtfo.

[gilld1]

Pay SLC no mind.  Look what he let his dog do to his child, for god's sake!!LOL

[SLCPUNK]

Pay SLC no mind.  Look what he let his dog do to his child, for god's sake!!LOL

Don't watch Fox News in my house and I won't release the hounds...

[gilld1]

Pay SLC no mind.  Look what he let his dog do to his child, for god's sake!!LOL

Don't watch Fox News in my house and I won't release the hounds...

If that was the case then the punishment is justified in my book.

Any good parent should not allow their children to become Republicans!!

[Bandita]

Pay SLC no mind.  Look what he let his dog do to his child, for god's sake!!LOL

Don't watch Fox News in my house and I won't release the hounds...

If that was the case then the punishment is justified in my book.

Any good parent should not allow their children to become Republicans!!

Oh hell no, I have this on my baby registry:

[D]

On A serious note

Sometimes, Don't u think in a way a lot of it is just a crap shoot?  Some kids come from the worst homes and families and become successful whereas some come from every opportunity and murder their parents.

I'm about a year away from being successful and getting into the "Family" starting mindset, but it scares me to death that no matter how great of a parent I am, my child somehow will still get on the wrong path.


so do u instill as much discipline and morals and just keep your fingers crossed they can pass the trial by fire?

[Bandita]

Good parenting has nothing to do with being rich or poor.

You can only do the best you can and pay attention.

My parents were a personal disaster.  They finally divorced when I was around 19 and it should have been 10 years before---BUT, no matter what-they loved me to death.  I never suffered from lack of affection.  Believe me that counts for something-it rises above all else I think you can do for a child.

[mrlee]

Plenty of rich kids by me are scumbags.

[Axl4Prez2004]

On A serious note

Sometimes, Don't u think in a way a lot of it is just a crap shoot?  Some kids come from the worst homes and families and become successful whereas some come from every opportunity and murder their parents.

I'm about a year away from being successful and getting into the "Family" starting mindset, but it scares me to death that no matter how great of a parent I am, my child somehow will still get on the wrong path.


so do u instill as much discipline and morals and just keep your fingers crossed they can pass the trial by fire?

As you know D, I have very strong opinions when it comes to parenting.  Crapshoot?  Hardly.  That's like lining up at the line of scrimmage in a football game and saying, "Oh well, it doesn't matter what I do, some of the best prepared teams lose, and some of the worst prepared win."  To me, that's loser talk.

The trick to parenting is not just making children do what they need to do, but setting the table in essence - providing them an environment that allows them to develop the inner motivations to want to do what they need to do.  It has worked quite well with our 2 little ones.

Yes, D, there are always exceptions to the rule, but they are rare.  Do the hard thing.  Make the tough choices.  Always put the best interests of your children first.  Selfish people suck, but that's okay, people can afford to be selfish...parents can't.

Yes, Mr. Lee, lots of rich kids are scumbags, the quality of a person isn't dependent on how much money they (or their family) have. 

...and yeah, I'll throw out the controversial topic here as well.  Don't hit your kids.  That whole, "spare the rod, spoil the child" is all bullshit.  Corporal punishment is ineffective in the long-run.  It's often used by parents too lazy or mentally creative to deal with a child who isn't doing the right thing.

  

[Albert S Miller]

Yes, well-

I am a big proponent of literacy.

I find it very embarrassing that children these days cannot spell and don't really seem to care. 

What is even worse to me is that kids like this can graduate because no one wants to put in the time or the effort to help them.

My own parents were by no means perfect but my Mom was all over my early education and I could read some by the time I was two years old.  I will make sure that I do this for my son as well since it's obvious to me that schools seem to be failing at this these days.

As parents we did exactly the same, started early and by Kindergarden they were both reading very well and were also able to do basic math skills.  They went to a great pre-school, in which they learned a small amount of Spanish as well.  We have always pressed the importance of education to them as well as being involved as parents ourselves in any way possible. Today they are very on track.  Though my oldest is working on her business degree first, she chose this knowing that no matter what career she ends up choosing, she will be well informed on the business aspect of life.  She thought she wanted a medical career when she was a sophmore and was recommended to participate in a two week internship at Berkley in 06, and she did, however now she is more interested in the fashion world and would like to design clothing and possibly have a couple boutiques.  My seventeen is pretty set with her choice at this time, and will be going to cullanary school after graduation, who knows maybe one day we will all be watching her on a cooking challenge or something.