Relationship advice thread

[Jada]

Never date a man who is violent in any way, shape, or form.  (outside of an athletic endeavour of course)

Never date a man who abuses or is addicted to drugs or alcohol.  You may think you're the one who can heal the wounded bird...but you're not, and your life will be much more miserable with this p.o.s. dragging you down.

Never date a man who disrespects you by his words or actions. 

Do date the man who supports you in your own personal goals/life fulfillment plan.
 

I'm with you on these 4 rules. Also, dating a guy with mental health problems can be hard, if he refuses to get help. I've seen it happen to a friend of mine.

[D]

I have seen it so many times. I use to be friends with a lot of girls and they'd come to me for advice and all that.

I would always tell them to write down 5 traits they'd love to have in a guy.

They'd write down those 5 and end up with someone who had none of those and then they'd call me crying wondering why they were miserable and the dude treated them like shit.

I was like HELLO, Big Red Truck. DUH!

[Axl4Prez2004]

well prez that is just my experience. I dated this one girl and I was with her for years and I probably didn't enjoy a day of it, cause like Jessica in the original post, I was so consumed with the future and the whole "are we gonna make it" will she dump me shit that I ended up driving her crazy and away.

Hmm, maybe I should have explained that a bit more clearly.  Thinking things through is not synonymous with asking yourself over and over "are we gonna make it?"  If you're worried you're going to get dumped, that's a red flag!  It should be natural.  In your case it sounds like you had some confidence issues.  I take it you were probably pretty young and that's understandable, we've all been there.  The perfect mate (in my eyes) is an extension of yourself.  That's why people who truly love each other, by the time they hit 80 or 90 years old, pass away pretty close together. 

Thats what I mean about over thinking. In a relationship, u can't get too far ahead. I don't think you should, after a few weeks of dating, be already trying to imagine a wedding and forever and all that stuff.

I agree D!  A few weeks of dating is just that, a few weeks of dating.  I see that problem with a lot of chicks. (well, more chicks than guys)   

take it slow, one day at a time, enjoy it for the experience and what it is. If it ends, mourn it, get over it, learn from it and the next chapter of your life, the next part of your journey in life begins.

agreed.

The worst thing u can do in life is let a broken heart turn u into an alcoholic or drug addict also. I've seen so many people let their lives go down the tube just cause they got dumped.

agreed.  then, they usually say, "look what he or she did to me!"  No, incorrect.  YOU did this to you.  It's quite sad.  Back in high school, I remember a classmate of mine, normal teenager, tell me he was thinking about asking out this chick to a dance.  I guess word got to her before he could, and it got back to him that she said something like, "who? Oh, he just blends in with the wall."  Obviouslky, he was crushed...started wearing black clothes, Ozzy-style black fingernail polish, etc.  Started fucking up schoolwork...and if I'm not mistaken, lost his track towards college.  Sad too, because he was a smart kid. 

[Axl4Prez2004]

I have seen it so many times. I use to be friends with a lot of girls and they'd come to me for advice and all that.

I would always tell them to write down 5 traits they'd love to have in a guy.

They'd write down those 5 and end up with someone who had none of those and then they'd call me crying wondering why they were miserable and the dude treated them like shit.

I was like HELLO, Big Red Truck. DUH!

Seriously, I think a lot goes back to the fact a lot of chicks like the "bad boy."  It's not just guys who think with their privates.
That's right...ladies! stop thinking with your privates!!!    
 

[D]

Yeah, I've learned that a lot of girls WANT a great guy BUT they want to be the reason the guy is a great guy.

[Axl4Prez2004]

Yeah, I've learned that a lot of girls WANT a great guy BUT they want to be the reason the guy is a great guy.

Exactly the reason I don't feel sorry for the ones that fuck their lives up and blame the guy...listen honey, he didn't turn bad overnight.  99% of the time you knew what you were getting into...and the other 1% of the time you should have known "Better!"  "Now we all know Better!!!!!!!"   

[Jdog0830]

Yeah, I've learned that a lot of girls WANT a great guy BUT they want to be the reason the guy is a great guy.

Exactly the reason I don't feel sorry for the ones that fuck their lives up and blame the guy...listen honey, he didn't turn bad overnight.  99% of the time you knew what you were getting into...and the other 1% of the time you should have known "Better!"  "Now we all know Better!!!!!!!"   

well Now We All Know Better!!!!!! 2

[D]

How bout Rihanna and getting back with Chris Brown

If he beats her ass again, should we feel sorry?

I think not

[freedom78]

How bout Rihanna and getting back with Chris Brown

If he beats her ass again, should we feel sorry?

I think not

You've got to think that women who do such things have some very serious issues....self-esteem or whatever.  Of course, he likely has issues too.  A need to feel powerful, or whatnot.  Lovely results when such people end up together.

[Axl4Prez2004]

How bout Rihanna and getting back with Chris Brown

If he beats her ass again, should we feel sorry?

I think not

Good question D...and I agree with you.  Maybe he'll break her fucking arm or something...perhaps it'll take popping her teeth out like they were Chiclets for her to wisen up.  Oh well.  Eventually he'll smack some sense into her right?   

Her parents have to be very disappointed.   

[Jdog0830]

How bout Rihanna and getting back with Chris Brown

If he beats her ass again, should we feel sorry?

I think not

Good question D...and I agree with you.  Maybe he'll break her fucking arm or something...perhaps it'll take popping her teeth out like they were Chiclets for her to wisen up.  Oh well.  Eventually he'll smack some sense into her right?   

Her parents have to be very disappointed.   

Her parents are probobly pissed off beyond beleif

[Axl4Prez2004]

How bout Rihanna and getting back with Chris Brown

If he beats her ass again, should we feel sorry?

I think not

You've got to think that women who do such things have some very serious issues....self-esteem or whatever.  Of course, he likely has issues too.  A need to feel powerful, or whatnot.  Lovely results when such people end up together.

What's old is new again...we needed an Ike and Tina for the 21st century. 

[norway]

all men are pigs...but not all men act like pigs.

Similar to how all women are parasites I take it, some just hide it very well hm.

ladies! stop thinking with your privates!!!    

Research on primates reveal the same, depending on fertility cycles what type of man they are atracted to.
Fertile= Certain genes are more atractive, then commonly sympathic etc

Often a man with a good genepool of physical quality/immunity (which matters most in reproduction) aren't all that to live it.

Nature doing it's job

Thats yet another reason why the culmination of families, christianity and modern life is so wrong. 


You have a great point about friendship-
-wished more men and women started to view eachother as prospective friends instead.

The same guy who wondered what would happen if Axl's name was skogsal....

Don't get why Skeba isn't there, fire Skeba!!!111

Not that I'm bitter or anything!!

[Axl4Prez2004]

Norway, while I completely disagree with your outlook on "racial purity," you mentioned the science behind attraction...and you are correct.  Women will be attracted to different types of men at different times in their menstrual cycles.  Interesting stuff.

btw, all women are not parasites.   

[D]

I've seen so many abused women and it is really sad. I really shouldn't be so harsh on them though cause it is sort of a disease like anything else as well.

Battered Wife syndrome is real

[Axl4Prez2004]

I've seen so many abused women and it is really sad. I really shouldn't be so harsh on them though cause it is sort of a disease like anything else as well.

Battered Wife syndrome is real

True dat D...it's all so sad. 

[Jdog0830]

I've seen so many abused women and it is really sad. I really shouldn't be so harsh on them though cause it is sort of a disease like anything else as well.

Battered Wife syndrome is real

True dat D...it's all so sad. 

then why hasnt she got some serious help

[journey]

Norway, while I completely disagree with your outlook on "racial purity," you mentioned the science behind attraction...and you are correct.  Women will be attracted to different types of men at different times in their menstrual cycles.  Interesting stuff.

btw, all women are not parasites.   

Science has a way of oversimplifying the laws of attraction. There has to be more to love and attraction that goes beyond dopamine receptors, menstrual cycles, scents, etc... We've evolved too much as a species to be given such simplistic answers of why we're attracted to someone. We're not cave people anymore, searching for that physically fit "super human" who can hunt during a blizzard and fight off wild animals in the dark with his bare hands.

For Norway/Sincut  - It's not cool or attractive to put people down for being overweight. Treating everyone with respect has nothing to do with being politically correct or having Christian values, it has to do with human decency and empathy. 

[Drew]

How bout Rihanna and getting back with Chris Brown

If he beats her ass again, should we feel sorry?

I think not

Absolutely not! She's an idiot for going back to that thug. If he beats her ass down again, then hopefully he'll beat some sense into her this time. But probably not.

[Jada]

I've seen so many abused women and it is really sad. I really shouldn't be so harsh on them though cause it is sort of a disease like anything else as well.

Battered Wife syndrome is real

True dat D...it's all so sad. 

There's emotional "abuse" as well, and it can be as damaging as physical abuse is, IMO. And it's also harder to tell if someone's suffering from it, because it doesn't show on the outside.